Welcome to Top Funny Jokes!


Do you love jokes, riddles, pick up lines and insults? Well you stumbled upon the right place. Top Funny Jokes homepage is packed with hours and hours of humor, laughter and enjoyment. I have divided every genre in different categories, making it easy and straightforward for you to find the right joke, quote, etc. Enough chitchat from me, get going and explore.


Joke Categories


the funny jokes As the joker from batman says: “Why so serious?”
Drawn by Boredman

Laugh with your friends, family or your better half. I guarantee you a burst of laughter and aching laughter muscles. I strive to be the leading website in quality jokes you can use again and again. Are you searching for a category I do not yet have or know of a funny jokes, then do not hesitate to submit it.

Good laughter to all of you.



Definition of the word "Joke":


A joke is a humorous short story, quip or question. Robert Hetzron a well known linguist, offers this definition:

"A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text verbatim, as in the case of poetry."

You can read more about the definition of a jokes: right here and here: (Disambiguation)

The jokes and laughter


• It is scientifically proven that laughter has different health benefits.
• Laughter strengthens the immune system, as the laughter helps to increase the supply of white blood cells.
• Laughter increases the levels of endorphins which are the body's natural pain killer.
• Laughter is a form of internal exercise. The internal organs are exercised and massaged, which increases blood flow.
• Laughter is the best medicine against stress and makes us more positive about our surroundings.

However healthy or not, it is always a good thing to laugh when our normal life’s are stressful and we are constantly busy. So use your breaks wisely, use them to enjoy others company, read some jokes and have a good laugh out of it. I can guarantee you, that laughter gives you more energy, you will feel much more comfortable and stress-relieved after a session with laughter.

The second half of the full list

Yes, we got many more categories than you thought at first. This is the second half of the list; the first half was at the top. Further down you will find a specific description for every category this website contains.

Let’s start off with some stupid but funny jokes



We all share jokes, quotes, proverbs and stories. No matter how much we have heard before, we want always a little more. This website is developed for this purpose only. So let us start with 22 stupid jokes. They are so stupid that they actually are funny. Enjoy.

1. “Is there a hole in your shoe?”
“No.”
“Then how did you get your foot into it?”

2. What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs and an eye patch?
Names!

3. A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.
The flight attendant looks and says, “I´m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”

4. What´s the stupidest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.

5. A toothless termite walked into a pub and asked: “Is the bar tender here?”

6. Two mice chewing on a film roll.
One of them says. “I think the book was better.”

7. What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.

8. Would you mind if I took a picture of you naked?
Sure, why not – if it isn’t too cold for you here?

9. What was a more important invention than the first telephone?
The second one.

10. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up, he had 200.

11. My grandfather had the heart of lion and a lifetime ban from the New your city zoo.

12. Where did Lucy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.

13. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
It was a nice ceremony… but the reception was amazing.

14. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey.

15. I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey Jack, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

16. A man walks into a zoo.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It´s a ShihTzu.

17. Knock knock.
Who´s there?
Europe who?
No ur a poo haha.

18. Patient: "Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye."
Doctor: "I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking."

19. And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”.
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

20. Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
The first one says, “Pass the soap.”
The second one says, “No soap, radio!”

21. Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the entire place.
But it´s their own fault for not having windows.

22. “You know, it´s times like this I wished I had listened to what my mother has always told me.”
“What did she say?”
“I don´t know, I wasn´t listening.”

Want more stupid jokes? Here is a video with 25 dumb ones from the guys at "List25"

Our joke categories you can enjoy on this site


Girlfriend jokes: We all know how a relationship can go. Sometimes everything is perfect while other time it’s just down the crapper. These girlfriend jokes are funny because they take many thing from true relationship and gives them a funny twist. They are much more funny if you had or have a girlfriend or wife, then you know what the punchline means.

Husband and wife jokes: Like those above, you have to have a wife or husband too really understand it fully. These makes fun of the marriage between a woman and man. The funny thing about many of these here is that they are true. Well dont be afraid to get married, a marriage is much more fun than a simple joke.

Jew jokes: A joke about Jews have a racist undertone, they focusing on the appearances like their noses, likeness for money, circumcision and most of all the Second World War II. Yes, some of them are brutal and somewhat evil. Nevertheless, a joke is only a joke nothing else. I do not support bad behavior against Jews, or any other, neither am I a racist, or support racism. You are welcome to look at other joke categories if you don’t like these.

Black jokes: Yes I also got some about black people. They are funny and racist. These are not for everyone. If your stomach can't handle it. Then choose another category. I got plenty of them, and adding some regularly so you allways have some new to enjoy. If you like these, then it's the right place.

Anti jokes: These are like the normal ones. They build up to a punchline but at the end, there is none. Image a joke with no meaning or just plain ending with no punchline. These are a new kind of funny. They are not for everyone and many find them boring or just without the humor. The great thing is that we all have different taste. So there is people out there who find these funny indeed. For all of you who like these, well we have now added them to this page. Enjoy.

Mexican jokes: Like the those about Jews, these are also somewhat racist. Here we focus about Mexicans and the poverty, stupidity and crime. While Mexicans are like all other people, they got a bad reputation because some people have to feel good about them self by belittle others. Nevertheless, I have lot of jokes about Mexican you will laugh about.

Chuck Norris jokes: Ever seen the television series Walker, Texas Ranger? Yeah I got a whole categorie devoted to Chuck Norris. They are pretty funny. Never cross Chuck Norris, he will deliver a roundhouse kick to your face!

Stupid jokes: Like everything, there is also stupid ones. These have a bad punchlines, or the meaning of the them is just too obvious. Nevertheless they are still funny in their own way. If you like corny humor, then you’re likely to love this category.

Old people jokes: Old people have so much life experience that they sometimes say or do weird things. They have tried all the things they wanted to and do not give a shit about anybody else. These old people paint a comical picture about their life with their words. Although they are funny, there is a bit truth in them all, everybody can learn from.

Fat jokes: Obesity is an epidemic, more and more people gaining weight as never before, and what do we do about it? We build more McDonalds and other burger joints. I say that it´s a mixture of laziness, fast food and internet where our ass can be planted in the chair without moving for days that make us obese. Never the less, here is some great and funny fat ones here. Enjoy!

Pregnant jokes: Pregnancy can be pretty harsh for some women. They throw up, their body hurts and hormones are raging in their bodies. These focus most about woman who say or do weird things. Some of them are also about the man how got these women pregnant.

Dad jokes: Fathers can be strict but also loving. These are fun, but at the same time embarrassing and may even be corny.

Blonde jokes: Blondes are classics among all other jokes here. Although there is no scientific evidence that blonde’s are any different then another. Nevertheless, they have the reputation for being stupid and thinking much with their legs spread apart. Read the funny blonde ones right here!

Adult jokes: Here you will find some pretty bold and sassy ones. These are not for everyone, some of them will require a bit special humor. Nevertheless they are both funny and got some kick to them. Enjoy the great list of adult collection.

Roses are red violets are blue jokes: Roses are red is actually a poem, through time they have been made in many different forms. Here you will find “Roses are red” jokes with a punch line that still rimes and got some sort of twist. "Roses are red" are focusing most about some form for love and romance.

Racist jokes: Well the word racist says it all. Although I am not a racist and do not support such behavior, the racist ones can be pretty funny. Here you will see these racist about many different people from different countries. They are actually quite popular among all other ones we got on this page.

Hilarious jokes: You will find that we got many different joke categories here. And no, I am not finished yet, I´m always working on new ideas and at the same time adding more to alle the categories. These hilarious are psecially picked for this genre and will probably make you laugh. So go ahead and have som fun.

Dirty jokes: The dirty ones have sexual undertones and are not for everyone. I know that I have children visiting this site, and must therefore refer them to other joke categories. I do not take responsibility for any discomfort your children may have by reading these. It is the parents responsibility to guide their children what they may or may not read and see on this site.

Yo mama jokes: Yo mama are also a classics like the blonde ones. These are created for the only purpose to denigrate mothers. They will focus most about weight, appearance and intelligence in a bad way. A popular example could be taken from the comedy movie “The Nutty Professor” where Eddie Murphey compete with a man on the stage in a club about how ugly, fat and stupid his mothers are. They are both funny and wicked.

Jokes for kids: Here I have some mild ones, specially selected for children. A decision was made to give the children their own category so they also can have something to laugh about. I welcome all children to this category.

strong>Knock knock jokes: These knock knock ones are a bit special. They don’t have a real punchline, but uses a form of “call and response” where the response contains a pun. Most of these make use of people names and incorporates the name in some sort of a pun in the end. If you like the knock knock pun, then proceed over to the right joke category.

Condom jokes and rhymes: These are not only funny, but also has the function to young people who are exploring their sexual side with partners to use protection. Many of these provide a fun and humorous knowledge in a much more serious issue.

Bad jokes and one liners: Bad can be interpreted as "bad bad" and "good bad". These are so bad that they actually becomes good. Are you in for som "bad" ones and one liners, then it's your pitstop. I hope you'll enjoy them, it took me quit some time to assemble this list.

Lesbian jokes: You will find these joke funny and somewhat rude. They make fun of the way some lesbians can be. And n,o I personally don't have anything against lesbians. These are created to be enjoyed nothing more.

Star wars jokes: Never seen a Star wars movie or read one of the books? Well, then these ancdotes probably wont make any sense. But for those who are fans, or just have seen the movies, well this is a different matter. These Star wars joke are just great. They are witty and hilarious. read them with some friends or family. Remember to share.

Short jokes: Do you have trouble remembering? Perhaps because some are too long or possibly complicated. Fear not, I have a very special category for you. I'm talking of course about Short jests. They are fun and easy to remember.

Clean jokes: Do you not care about the witticism that demean others, might have a condescending tone or racist. I can reassure you with these clean ones. They are down to earth and still funny, and your children can also enjoy them.

Christmas jokes: Ahh Christmas, what a great time of year, especially for kids. I've added a whole category thats only about Christmas. I hope you'll enjoy them as many others have.

Sex jokes: Need some puns or gags that give you funny feeling in your pant? Well this is the right place. These sex jests are funny but not for everyone. This category contains foul and dirty language so we don´t recommend kids reading these.

Offensive jokes: Offensive ones are quite popular these days. Keep in mind that these are only for fun and that is not meant anything personal with them. Read them, enjoy them and laugh.

Corny jokes: Corny ones have a lame punchlines as jokes goes. However, these are great for children, because they make them laugh. So if you have children or just like these kind, go ahead and enjoy. Remember to share with those you like and love. Have fun.

One liner jokes: Are you looking for some that almost only consists of one line, look no further. Here you will find a long list of one liners .

Dead baby jokes: I am a father of two children, this is why the category was a bit strange to me to create. These are all about dead babies. Yes weird I know, just dont ask. For those who have requested them, enjoy them.

White people jokes: Short but great list about white people. They are funny and somewhat true. They are a bit hard to find, but I will add more as soon as I find some. There is of course the possibility that you guys will submit some funny ones about white people. Remember this site should be fun and anyone should enjoy the content of this page.

Cheesy jokes: You probably know a person or two who love the cheesy ones. Many times, it seems like they got an unlimited amount of them. And for the most part many of them is cringe worthy.

Good jokes: It can be difficult to distinct between good ones and the bad in this case. And before you make any objections, just hear me out. Remember that we all have different taste, which means that something you like is not necessarily the thing everybody else likes. So the word “good” has been taken as an average of all the jokes most people liked.

Gay jokes: Not much to say here. Some people like the opposite gender while others like the same. These are about people who like the same gender. Use these with caution; these may hurt someone feelings.

Chemistry jokes: To understand these, one must have some basic knowledge of chemistry, or I promise you these will be the most boring jokes you have ever read.

Asian jokes: Yes these are about the Asian people. These are not for everyone cause the have a tendency to use inappropriate language against a minority in the U. S.

Math jokes: I know that math is not for everyone. Many find it difficult and don’t see the use of it. I personally find math very logical and easy. If you love math like me, you will love this category.

Dumb jokes: Yep, we also got these. Sometimes they are so dumb that they become funny. Don’t believe me? Go on and read some. If you think they are not worth the time, just pick another category.

Halloween jokes: Halloween is a time for frightening others, costumes and much much more. This festiveness is celebrated and loved by many. Sadly it’s only held once a year.

Little Johnny jokes: Little Johnny is a schoolboy that always have questions about everything. And when you always ask questions the answers can be pretty funny. Or just the situation from the questions.

Helen Keller jokes: Helen Keller is a famous woman born in 1880. She was both blind and deaf. But that did not stop her, to live her life to the fullest. She became a known woman for her many achievements.

Redneck jokes: A redneck is a term used for poor, white, southern state farmers in th United states. This term is still used in some parts in the U. S. in a derogatory way.

Lame jokes: This category fits perfect for those days where you don’t want to do anything, just stay at home, order a pizza and be lazy.

Ford jokes: As many others you probably have a favorite brand when choosing cars. This category is all about the brand Ford and how bad it is. I can’t say if it’s true, but they are sure funny.

Obama jokes: Obama, the first black president of the United States. What an achievement. This show us how not only how the country but the people have evolved. Yes as many other president he has made some mistakes, this category is all about that.

Silly jokes: No matter how old one may be, they will always have a silly side to them. And hey, there is nothing wrong with being silly sometimes. Our life is just too short to be all serious all the time. Just let it go and be silly once in a while.

Science jokes: This category is not for the week minded. These requires some basic knowledge of different subject as math, biology, physics and so on.

Cat jokes: Some people like dog other like cat. This category is for the cat, read funny thing about how cats think, behave and reacts to their owners.

Dark jokes: There is different kinds of humor. There is the normal where most people can relate and see the funny things in it and then there is dark humor. This category is not for everyone and some people won’t even understand anything, but hey. Such is life.

Jokes about men: When we have with women why not men. This category focus on the male aspect of the human race. Here we will focus on every little mistake a man can and will make.

Thanksgiving jokes: Ahh the great celebration with turkey, mashed potatoes and so on. But the Thanksgiving is much more than that, here you will not only find information about what it is, you will also laugh.

Chevy jokes: Like the brand Ford here is about the brand Chevy. There is actually a war between the two brands, and people are very passionate about it. So are you a Chevy or Ford og maybe something completely different?

Easter jokes: Do you believe in the Easter bunny, or maybe you got some kids who does. Easter is actually much more than the bunny and the eggs.

Harry potter jokes: The boy who lived. This great story have touched many people and will keep doing it many years from now. Harry Potter is an amazing world J. K. Rolling has created. This category contains jokes about the setting and characters in this great story.

Pirate jokes: Arrgh matey, want to be a pirate? One leg, a claw, a black patch and a parrot on your shoulder? If so, this category is the right for you.

Siri jokes: Siri is a programmed bot in the iPhone. We can use it as a helper with many great things. The funny thing is, that she will answer to most questions, and sometimes these a just too funny to let ignore.

Fart jokes: Young and old, everyone find farts funny. I don’t know why but I think it has to do something with the sound of a fart or maybe even the smell. Don’t tell me you never have smiled or laughed when somebody else have farted?

Irish jokes: Like many other categories we got here, this one focuses on the Irish, how much they drink, and the way they think.

Midget jokes: We people have a way to make fun of all others if they don’t fit the norm. That’s why we got funny stuff about midgets.

Poop jokes: Like the farts, poop are in the same category of humor. This one is all about the poop, how it, smells, look and so on.

Pokémon jokes: Ahh Pokemons, the small weird animals one can catch with poke balls. If you’re a fan this the right choice for you.

Cow jokes: Nothing much to say here, this category is all about the cow. They are pretty funny and easy to remember. And kids love them.

Nerd jokes: Nothing wrong with being a nerd. The definition of a nerd is a person who have some things they really care about. Others see it as a weakness, while others a strength.

Sick jokes: So what is sick all about, it’s not about any kind of disease I can tell you that. It’s a specific kind of humor that don’t fit everybody.

School jokes: For those of us who are lucky enough to have the choice of an education, we all know about school. Many people says it one of the best times of the life while others disagree. What do you think?

Fathers day jokes: We also got a category all about the fathers day. Hey happy father day to all the fathers out there.

Other fun


Riddles: “A riddle is a statement or question or phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved.” We humans are by nature curious; we would like to have answers to most things. With riddles, we have exactly this opportunity and come up with our own solutions to the specific riddle.

Insults: Looking for insults? Well look no futher. Here you will find great selection of different insults orginized in categories. I got them all, the clever, mean, funny ones, ect. Got any yourself this site is lacking, well dont be shy. Submit it, so others may enjoy it aswell.

Pick up lines: Need any help getting the one you like? Well your prayer is heard, we got 16 different categories of great pick up lines just for you. Pick one or more and try them out. We love to hear your experience and if you got the girl or guy you wanted. God luck out there.

It is an honor

We are honored for the support, mails and praises we get for this site. We especially receive mail with these 5 repeated questions.

1. What are some funny jokes?
There is no answer to this question, because we all have different taste in everything, some like clean ones while others may fancy dirty jokes. They way to find something funny that you like is simple. “Seek and you shall find. “ We got different categories, so take a pick and go ahead.

2. Funny what do you call jokes?
“What do you call” jokes is a whole category in itself. These begins with a question while the answer is the punch line. Here are 3 different “What do you call” jokes for you:

- What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta!

- What do you call sad coffee?"
Despresso.

- What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

3. Funny doctor who jokes?
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television program produced by the BBC. The program shows the adventures of the Doctor, one Time Lord - a time-traveling humanoid alien takes on. He explores the universe in his TARDIS, a sentient time-traveling spacecraft. The first episode produced was back in 1963, so yeah it´s a massive television program. We don´t have a “doctor who” joke category at the moment, perhaps in the future.

4. Why did the chicken cross the road joke?
“Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes is also a category in itself. We don´t have it at the moment, and we are not sure if we going to add it to this site. It depends on the demand of this.

5. What are funny jokes?
It is certainly one of the stranger questions we have received. They are all funny, in some way. Not for all but for some. Like I mentioned in the first section, we have all different taste for what is fun and what is not. Try to read different categories, we are sure you will quickly find out which one you like best.

A small request.


Whether it's a jokes, quote, riddle or pun your interest lies in, I have small request for you all. I maintain and expand this website regularly, but I am only one man and cannot do it all by myself. If you find funny material, you see fit for this website, then submit without hesitation. I will be happy to put it up here on the website so others will be able to enjoy it as you have. You can submit it by using this form. I appreciate all the help I can get!

Have a nice day.
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