Hey guys, great to have you. This here is a list with good jokes. But what defines a good joke? Just to make it clear and not disappoint anyone, these jokes are very clean they are both for adult and kids. If you want adult jokes go to our main page and pick another category, there is plenty to choose from. These jokes are for the family where all can enjoy them regardless of age.
- What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
- Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
- What do you call a fake noodle?
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
- What do you call an alligator in a vest?
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
- What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
- What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
- “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
“You can’t tuna fish.”
- Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie!
- Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
- Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies!
- What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
You’re looking sharp.
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will Let it go.
- Knock, knock.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
- A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”
- What do lawyers wear to court?
- Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
- What gets wetter the more it dries?
- Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
- Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
- What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
- My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
- Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!
- Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
- What did Bacon say to Tomato?
Lettuce get together!
- You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
- What is the most hardworking part of the eye?
- What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
- How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
- What is red and smells like blue paint?
- What do you call a baby monkey?
A Chimp off the old block.
- Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
- What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
- Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
The don’t meet the koalafications.
- What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
It barked with de-light!
- How do you drown a Hipster?
In the mainstream.
- What’s brown and sticky?
- Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A taxi driver.
- “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
“With a bee bee gun.”
- I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
- What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
- How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it!
- What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator.
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
- What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers!
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
- Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
- How Long is a Chinese man’s name.
No, it actually is.
- What is the tallest building in the world?
The library! It has the most stories!
- What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
Man, that hit the “spot.”
- What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
- Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
- Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years!
- What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
- What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.
- Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
Because it was not peeling well.
- Why did the policeman smell bad?
He was on duty.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- I never make mistakes.
I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
- What has one head, one foot and four legs?
- What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
- Where does a sheep go for a haircut?
To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!
- What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday, of course!
- What bow can’t be tied
- What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor?
A knight light.
- What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
- Where did the computer go to dance?
To a disc-o.
- Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.
- Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head!
- What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
- What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
- Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
To get a tweetment.
- What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
- What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”
- What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
- Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
Because his friend said dinner is on me.
- Two muffins are in an oven.
One muffin says “gosh, it’s hot in here”.
The other muffin screams “AAAH!! A talking muffin!”
- What do prisoners use to call each other?
- What three candies can you find in every school?
Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
- What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
It smells like carrots out here!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no-body to go with.
- How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
- What did the ghost say to the bee?
- Where do snowmen keep their money
In snow banks.
- Why are pirates called pirates?
Cause they arrrrr.
- What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
- What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
- Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming!
- What washes up on very small beaches?
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
- What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
- What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
Show me the honey!
- What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest!
- Why did Tony go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
- What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
- Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because gorillas have big fingers.
- Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
Many more good jokes
The last 20 good jokes
This videoe was uploaded by “Got Talent Global”
You have reached the end of the road and buy that I hope you, your friends or family had fun. These jokes are stamped as good jokes, but there is no god or bad. Cause it all depends on the eye of the beholder. Some will find these funny, while others not so much. The great thing here is that we actually got over 60 different joke categories. So if this one don’t isn’t for you, just go to the main page and pick a new one or just use the main menu.
Have fun out there.
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