Asian jokes

• • How do they name Chinese baby’s?
    They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

• • God made each and everyone of us until he got to China.
    Copy paste, copy paste, copy paste.

• • Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

• • What’s the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
    Asian girl’s behind.

• • Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

• • “A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300. The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.” The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”

• • My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

• • I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
    She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”
    I said, “Wow!”
    Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

• • Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant?
    The food is great, but an hour later, you’re hungry for power.

• • What do you call a Chinese rapper?
    Vanilla Rice.

• • Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
    It was Panda-monium.

• • What has 2 wings and a halo?
    A Chinese telephone, Wing-wing, halo?

• • What did one Chu say to the other Chu?
    Is dat Chu bro?

• • Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China?
    You never leave home.

• • How do you blind a Chinese woman?
    You put a windshield in front of him.

• • Why did Mark Zuckerberg visit Beijing.
    To see the “Great Firewall”.

• • What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
    Ho Lee Bok.

More funny asian jokes

• • What is purple and long?
    The grape wall of China.

• • Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather?
    He makes you an offer you can’t understand.

• • What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
    Cha Ching!

• • What do you call a guy that’s half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker?
    Juan Chu.

• • What do you call a Chinese rapist?
    Rai Ping Yu.

• • Why do the Chinese hate American football?
    They spend 13 hours a day making them.

• • How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?
    Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the little f**ker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

• • Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China?
    Everybody won.

• • What do you call a Chinese woman with an opinion?
    Wong.

• • What country goes to war when you drop a plate?
    CHINA!

• • What do you call a Chinese Paralympian?
    Lim Ping.

• • What do you call a Chinese woman on fire?
    Mel Ting.

• • What do you call a Chinese dwarf?
    Tai Nee.

• • What do you call a Chinese woman with uneven knickers?
    Wong ki fong.

• • What do you call a bunch of Chinamen in a pool?
    Rice Krispies.

• • What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
    Phil Ming.

• • What do you call a game show in a Chinese Restaurant?
    Wheel of Fortune cookies.

• • What does a Zombie call Chinese people?
    Take Out.

• • Did you hear about the winner of the Chinese beauty contest?
    Me neither.

• • What is the most common crime in China?
    Identity Fraud.

• • What do you call a Chinese protest?
    A SITUASIAN.

• • Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides.

• • What time was it when the monster ate the Chinese prime minister?
    Eight P.M.

• • What do they call a guitar solo in China?
    Too Ning.

• • What do you call an Asian receptionist?
    Tai Ping.

The last 12 asian jokes

• • What do you call a dumb Chinese prostitute?
    Wun Dum Ho.

• • Why are there so many girls in a Chinese strip club?
    Because of all the wangs.

• • What do you call an Asian that gets on your nerves?
    Anno Ying.

• • Did you hear about Chinese Jesus?
    He could “Wok” on Water!.

• • What do you call a Chinese man with a microwave on his head?
    Ping!

• • What did the Chinese father tell his daughter?
    You allergic to bees. Good! Get A’s or C your way out of my house.

• • Why did the woman have a hard time walking?
    She hooked up with Du Mi Wong.

• • How many Chinamen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    It doesn’t matter because they’re all too short.

• • Why wasn’t Jesus born in China?
    He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

• • What do the Chinese do during erections?
    They vote.

• • How does every Chinese joke start?
    By looking over your shoulder.

• • Guys, enough with the Asian jokes. They’re all the same.