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Hilarious insults

Hilarious insultsHere is a list of many great hilarious insults. They are fun and can be used on everyone. You must be careful, however, not to make anyone upset or angry. Choose one of your friends who knows it only for fun. You can also compete against others with insults and see who is best.

  • Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head!
  • Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
  • At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face.
  • You are as sharp as a bowling ball.
  • As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.
  • I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?



  • When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
  • I like you. People say I’ve no taste, but I like you.
  • If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing.
  • You have the perfect face for radio.
  • Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!
  • More of Hilarious insults

  • Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
  • Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
  • Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
  • Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
  • You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • If I had a face like yours. I’d sue my parents!
  • Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
  • Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?
  • I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.
  • Don’t get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
  • Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
  • You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in.
  • You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
  • He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
  • I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.
  • Don’t think, it may sprain your brain!
  • If bullshit could float…you’d be the Admiral of the fleet!
  • Fellows like you don’t grow from trees; they swing from them.
  • Are your parents siblings?
  • He is always lost in thought it’s unfamiliar territory.
  • It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
  • He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed!
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.
  • Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
  • He is listed in Who’s Who as What’s That?
  • I’m already visualising the duct tape across your mouth.



  • He is dark and handsome. When it’s dark, he’s handsome.
  • What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!
  • Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
  • Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid!
  • Great selection of Hilarious insults

  • He is known as a miracle comic. If he’s funny, it’s a miracle!
  • You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
  • He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
  • You were beautiful in my dreams, but a fucking nightmare in reality.
  • He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
  • You look like a before picture.
  • Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?
  • You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, “concentrate”.
  • How much refund do you expect on your head now that it’s empty.
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
  • Your so dense, light must bend around you.
  • How come you’re here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!
  • You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.
  • How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
  • I haven’t been ignoring you; I’ve been prioritizing you.
  • I can’t talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?
  • You’re like school in the summertime – no class.
  • How would you like to feel the way you look?
  • You have enough fat to make another human.
  • I can’t seem to remember your name, and please don’t help me!
  • You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
  • I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
  • Who the hell did you eat?
  • The last 20 Hilarious insults

  • I don’t want you to turn the other cheek; it’s just as ugly.
  • Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.
  • I don’t know who you are, but whatever you are, I’m sure everyone will agree with me.
  • You better hope you marry rich.
  • I don’t even like the people you’re trying to imitate, if you are at all.
  • I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you.
  • I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
  • I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.



  • Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that’s very typical of you.
  • Shock me, say something intelligent.
  • I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
  • I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
  • I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?
  • Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?
  • I know you’re a self-made man. It’s nice of you to take the blame!
  • What’s the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don’t.
  • Do u practice being this ugly?
  • It’s scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
  • I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
  • Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
These insults are hilarious, but can also be quite evil filling. If you know someone you think is annoying, you can always use one or more of these insults against him or her. It can be quite hurtful to be the recipient of an insult, but sometimes there’s just no other choice.

Other categories of insults