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Gay jokes

Gay jokesHey all. This is the gay jokes section. Before you read further I want to make it absolutely clear. I do not hate or have anything against gay people. Don’t use these jokes to hurt others or make them sad. Remember that word can hurt more than you think. These jokes are only for fun and should be used on someone who you know can handle them. Enjoy.

  • Why are gays happy that they have nutsacks.
    Because they use them as mudflaps.
  • I think my coworkers are gay.
    Every time I walk by, they mumble, “What an ass.”
  • What do you call a gay cowboy?
    A Jolly Rancher!

  • What do you call a gay drive by?
    “A fruit roll up.”
  • If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
  • Why can’t gays drive faster than 68mph?
    Because at 69 they blow a rod.
  • How do you fit three homosexuals on one barstool?
    Turn it upside-down!
  • Did you hear about the gays that had a baby?
    It was a little shit.
  • Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
    Because they can only mandate.
  • What do the rabbis do with foreskin after a circumcision?
    Give it to the gays for chewing gum!
  • I’m so gay I can barely think straight.
  • Why is Katie Holmes divorcing Tom Cruise?
    Apprently he’s been in A Few Good Men.
  • What do you call a homosexual dentist?
    Tooth fairy.
  • A guy finds a genie.
    He says, “I wish I was better at talking to women.”
    “Poof!” the genie says, “You’re gay!”
  • Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
    He was playing with too many strokes.
  • What comes after 69?
  • What do ambulances and gay men have in common?
    They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop.
  • What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a homo?
    The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out!
  • What’s a homos favorite planet?
  • Four homosexuals are sitting in a hot tub.
    They notice some sperm rising to the surface.
    One of them says, “Ok, who farted?”
  • What do you call an annoying gay man?
    A pain in the arse.
  • What did one gay sperm say to another?
    “How do we find an egg in all of this shit?”
  • Why did God create gay men?
    So fat girls could dance.
  • Where do you call a town full of homosexuals?
    A Gayborhood.
  • What do you call a gay boxer?
    Fruit Punch!
  • How do you know your roommate is gay?
    His dick tastes like shit.
  • Hear about the new gay sitcom?
    “Leave it, it’s Beaver.”
  • What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar?
  • Why do so many gay men have moustaches?
    To hide the stretch marks.
  • How do you know you’re a homosexual?
    When you make Justin Bieber look straight.
  • What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
    Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there.
  • How can you tell you’ve had gay burglars?
    They re-arranged all your furniture and left a note criticizing your curtains.

  • What do you call a gay Ginger?
  • What do you get when you cross an eskimo and a gay guy?
    A snow blower.
  • What did one gay dentist say to the other?
    You have the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.
  • Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
    He found a hare up his ass.
  • Many more gay jokes

  • Why do gay men fake orgasms?
    Because they will be in deep shit if they don’t!
  • A lesbian goes to the gynecologist. While she’s laid back with her feet in the stirrups, being examined, the gynecologist remarks, “You keep things very clean down here.”
    The lesbian replies, “Thanks! I have a lady who comes in twice a week.”
  • Why was Dewey Cox walking hard?
    He got some Tenacious D.
  • How can you make a gay man scream twice?
    Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
  • What happened when the gay guy put a nicotine patch on his dick?
    He went down to two butts a day.
  • How can you tell if a Western is gay?
    All the good guys are hung.
  • How do you get a nun pregnant?
    Dress her up as an altar boy.
  • Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
    They already have boyfriends.
  • How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
    He spits on his partners back.
  • What drink can you order at a gay bar?
  • How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
    Both of them.
  • What do you call a phone that gay men can’t use?
    A Homophone.
  • How do you say homosexual in Jewish?
  • Little Johnny comes home one day and says, “Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!”
    “What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?”
    “No,” says Johnny. “It’s salty.”
  • Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
    Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
    Son: How did it taste?
  • What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar?
    “Do you mind if I push in your stool?
  • The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
    I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
  • Did you hear about the gay vegetarian?
    He still eats meat.
  • What is Gay Pride?
    A group of homosexual lions.
  • Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
    Drinking on the job.
  • Why is Fred Flintstone a closet homosexual?
    He has a gay old time.
  • What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
    Can I help you pack your shit?
  • How can you tell if you’re in a gay church?
    Only half the congregation is kneeling.
  • What do gay termites Eat?
  • Why don’t gays shop at Sports Authority?
    Because they prefer Dick’s.
  • Do you know how to play gay poker?
    Queens are wild and straights don’t count.

  • Why is Edward Cullen a homosexual?
    Vampires burn in the sunlight, Gays sparkle!
  • Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
    Went around blowing fuses.
  • Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
    So gay guys can play star wars.
  • Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
    They tried each other.
  • Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
    Cause their balls show!
  • How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
    He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
  • Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
    Only came in male boxes.
  • What did the 2 condoms walking down the street say?
    Lets go into that gay bar and get shitfaced”.
  • I think my sons gay.
    I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn’t even notice.
  • Did you know 75% of the gay population were born that way?
    The other 25% were sucked into it.
  • What do you call a gay dinosaur?
  • Do you know the most favorite play of gays?
    Romeo and Julius.
  • What does a gay horse eat?
  • What do you call two gay Irish men?
    Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
  • What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
    Fur traders.
  • How do you know if a police officer is gay?
    The smell of his mustache.
  • What do gay men call hemorrhoids?
    Speed bumps.
  • How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
    All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
  • Did you hear about the gay truckers?
    They exchanged loads.
  • Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
    They went outside to exchange blows.
  • How do you know a gay guy has farted?
    He needs to change his pants afterward.
  • Why was the gay embarrassed when he was caught blowing the well-hung black boy?
    Because he was caught with a foot in his mouth.
  • What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
    Male fraud.
  • What’s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
    At a straight rodeo everyone yells, “Ride that sucker”.
  • Why was the snowman so horny?
    Because he saw a plow truck.
  • What’s the difference between a hobo and a homo?
    a hobo doesn’t have any friends, but a homo has friends up the ass.
  • Why did the little Greek boy run away from home?
    He didn’t like the way he was being reared.
  • What do you call a gay fly?
    A fruit fly!
  • What do you call a gay Chinese man?
    Chui mi Wang.
  • What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar?
    Mating call.

  • Did you hear about the 2 gays that got into a fight in a bar?
    They were ejected for exchanging blows.
  • Why did the gay guy go straight?
    There were too many dicks!
  • What’s the definition of a poofter?
    A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
  • What’s the motto of the Greek army?
    Never leave your buddy’s behind.
  • Hear about the gay royal Canadian mounted cop?
    He got so excited his first day on the Job he jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.
  • What do you call a gay scientist?
    A homo-geneous.
  • The last 15 gay jokes

  • How much cum does a gay guy have?
    A butt load.
  • What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
    A fruit stand.
  • Why will Edward Cullen make an appearance in the next Narnia film?
    Because he’s that deep in the closet!
  • What do you call a gay midget?
    A low blow.

  • What do you call a gay couple?
  • What’s the difference between gay jokes and transsexual jokes?
    Transsexual jokes go both ways.
  • Two gay guys were having sex, when they both die at the same time. Who goes to heaven first?
    The one who had his shit packed.
  • How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    One. But it takes half the ER staff to get it out!
  • What did the gay rooster say?
  • What does a gay man do before he jerks off?
    He craps in his hand.
  • Why do gay guys buy ribbed condoms?
    Because they get better traction in the mud!
  • What do you get when you cross a gay man and a horse?
    A unicorn.
  • How do gay gangsters do a drive by?
    They throw skittles at you and say, “Taste the rainbow bitches!”
  • How do 5 gay men walk?
    One Direction!
  • Me: I know a gay guy that sounds like an owl.
    Friend: Who?
A video with some gay jokes by Mark Normand from Laugh Factory.

This videoe was uploaded by “Laugh Factory”

Hey hey hey, yes you have reached the end of this list with over 100 jokes about gays. I know you know it, but I would like to mention it one more time. These jokes are only for fun and nothing else, I didn’t put them here to be used for hurting others or make someone sad. Don’t ruin someone’s day jokes because you yourself are insecure. Remember to check out the many other categories we got.

Have a great day.

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One comment

  1. Tbh a ton of these don’t even make any sense to me but ok 😂👍these r awesome I am super supportive of lbgt and I still think these r funny! I have had crushes on boys and girls, and I think all sexualities r beautiful!!

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