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Fart jokes

Fart jokesWhy is it that the sound of a fart can be so funny. The sound of one can make most laugh no matter if it is a child or adult. Here you will find funny fart jokes you can enjoy. If you like them, share them with friends and family.

  • What is invisible and smells of carrots?
    A little bunny’s fart.
  • An elderly couple go to church one Sunday. Halfway through the service, the wife leans over and whispers in her husbands ear, “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” The husband replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
  • Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop.
    One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”

  • Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
  • It was Saturday night
    and the moon was green
    and around the corner came a fart machine
    a fart was left a scream was heard
    and the moon got killed by a flying turd.
  • I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the beat. After a couple of seconds, I started to feel better. I looked up, and noticed that everybody was staring at me… Then I suddenly remembered that I was using headphones.
  • Little Johnny’s father farted. The son asked his father: “What was that?” His father said: “My sweet that is ‘north wind'” When he went to school the teacher asked the class: “Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: “My daddy’s ass!”
  • Bill Gates farted in an Apple store.
    He later commented, “Well it’s hardly my fault they don’t have any Window.”
  • When people hug you, fart loudly.
    You’ll make them feel very strong.
  • A boy comes home and says to his parents “Mom, dad, the teacher asked a question today and I was the only kid in the class that knew the answer!” And the parents say “That’s amazing son! What was the question?” And the boy says “Who farted?”
  • What’s the definition of a surprise?
    A fart with a lump in it.
  • A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
  • Full elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.
  • What is invisible and smells of worms?
    A bird’s fart.
  • A woman walks into a restaurant and takes a seat. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly, with the Waiter right behind her. Shocked, she sits back up abruptly, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop That!” To which the Waiter replies “Certainly, Which Way Did It Go?”
  • Funny fart jokes

  • A teenage boy is invited for lunch at his girlfriend’s house.
    Because he made some bad food choices earlier, he simply has to fart when they’re all at the table.
    The girlfriend’s dad shouts at the large dog sitting under the boy’s chair: „Rex!”
    Seeing that the father thought it was the dog, the boy is much relieved.
    A minute later the boy has to fart again – and again audibly. The father snaps at the dog again: “REX!!”
    The boy is relieved again that the father thought it was the dog.
    Ten minutes later the boy farts again.
    The father shouts: “Rex, come here before that boy craps on your head.”
  • What’s the definition of bravery?
    A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
  • What do you call a person that doesn’t fart in public?
    A private tutor.
  • What’s more fun than a Canadian Microwave?
    A dutch oven.
  • Why do farts smell?
    For the benefit of people who are hearing impaired!
  • What is the sharpest thing in the world?
    A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn’t even leave a hole.
  • Why don’t farts graduate from high school?
    Because they always end up getting expelled!
  • What’s the difference between Mozart and Mr. Methane?
    One is music to your ear; the other is music from his rear.
  • Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
    Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.
  • What do you get if you eat refried beans and onions?
    Tear Gas.
  • What does Mitt Romney say when he farts?
    Obama did it.
  • Why don’t you fart in church?
    Because you have to sit in your pew.
  • What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
    You are the wind beneath my wings.
  • What did the high Priest comment before he flushed the toilet?
    Holy Crap!
  • What do surfers worry about?
    A shart attack.
  • What did Britney Spears say after she let one rip?
    “Oops I Sharted Again”.
  • What does it mean to ‘cupcake’ someone?
    Fart in your hand and put you hand in someone’s face.
  • What did one butthole say to the other?
    Let’s get the ffffaaarrrtt out of here!

  • What did the burp say to the other burp?
    Let’s be naughty and go out the other end!
  • What do you call “fart” in German?
  • What’s the difference between a museum and a Mr. Methane act?
    One has artifacts; the other does farty acts.
  • What is it called when Queen of England farts?
    A noble gas.
A funny video with some fart jokes with the comedian George Carlin.

This videoe was uploaded by “Ori”

If you likes or even know a fart jokes that you may think deserves to be on this list, then use either the submit button in the main menu or just include it in the comment area. And don’t be a stranger, I will add more jokes of same caliber on the near future.

Have a great day.

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