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Clever insults

Clever insultsHere is a good way to insult someone. With these clever insults you can insult someone without they know what to say back. Keep in mind that not all people will think they are funny. Some will be upset or angry, so be sure who you are insulting.

  • Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you’re an artist.
  • So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.



  • Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
  • You inspire my inner serial killer.
  • A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
  • You’re IQ’s lower than your shoe size.
  • I could say nice things about you, but I’d rather tell the truth.
  • If opposites attract, then I hope you meet someone who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
  • Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!
  • Do you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring.
  • Great selection of Clever insults

  • Ever since I saw you in your family tree I’ve wanted to cut it down.
  • Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
  • You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light!
  • When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
  • I see that you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • You started at the bottom… and it’s been downhill ever since.
  • Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.
  • If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.
  • Can you finish up your life story? I got an appointment at four.
  • Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.
  • You have the perfect face for radio.
  • No, no, I’m not insulting you I’m describing you.
  • If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
  • You’re like school in the summertime – no class.
  • I’m busy, you’re ugly, have a nice day.
  • What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.
  • Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
  • I’m not saying I hate you I’m just saying if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.
  • I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?
  • I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.
  • You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
  • Some people need a high five… in the face… with a chair. Want me to do it?



  • You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.
  • I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
  • If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable.
  • I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity?
  • I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn’t understand.
  • You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
  • The last 15 Clever insults

  • You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
  • The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.
  • Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
  • I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you.
  • Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
  • You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
  • If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.
  • Shock me, say something intelligent.
  • Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
  • Is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
  • It’s scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
  • Karma takes too long, I’d rather beat the shit out of you just now.



  • I don’t think you are a fool. But then what’s MY opinion against thousands of others?
  • Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • If bullshit could float…you’d be the Admiral of the fleet!
I hope you liked these clever insults. I will upload more regularly, be sure to return to read more clever insults you can use in real life. Have a nice day.

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