Lesbian jokes

Lesbian jokesWe all like a laugh. Here is a great list with funny Lesbian jokes. If you dont know what a lesbian are, then here you’l have an explanation. Lesbian is a woman who likes other woman. Not as a friend but in a sexual attraction. Read these jokes and laugh your pants off. Dont forget to share with friend.

    • Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died?
      They found her face down in Ricki Lake.
    • What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
      “You know, we do taste like chicken!”
    • A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died.
      At her autopsy it was discovered she had died from a crack overdose.
    • Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much potenspills?
      She couldn’t get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!
    • What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
      A block of flaps!
    • Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
      Neither. They both eat out.
    • Why were lesbians invented?
      So that feminists wouldn’t breed!
    • What do you call two lesbians floating down a river.
      Fur Traders.
    • How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
      She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
    • How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
      None, Its all tongue and groove!
    • Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?
      Vagitarians.
    • How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
      Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.
    • Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her yum-yum?
      So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.
    • What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
      “I’ll see you next month.”
    • What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian’s apartment?
      Potpourri.

More lesbian jokes

    • Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
      She kept having affairs with men.
    • What do parsley and pubic hair have in common???
      Nothing,you push them both to the side before you start eating!
    • What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
      Tartar sauce!
    • What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
      A new carpet to munch on.
    • The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
      Apparently HD was the wrong answer.
    • What do you call lesbian twins?
      Lick-a-likes.
    • What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
      A lick-her cabinet.
    • Why did the lesbian build a shelf?
      To hold her shoulders.
    • A woman got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie.
      The genie offered her the traditional three wishes.
      Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all.
      The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers, and turned her into a lesbian.
    • Why was the lesbian sick?
      She was lacking vitamin D.
    • What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?
      Fried fish.
    • What do lesbians need to get married?
      A Licker license!
    • What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
      One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
    • What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
      They go home and lick each others wounds!
    • Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
      Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.
    • What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
      A Klondike!
    • Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
      It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.
    • What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
      Militia Etheridge.
    • What do you call an Irish lesbian?
      Gaylick.
    • What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
      What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?
    • What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
      Well hung.

Remember to share these Lesbian jokes

    • Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians?
      Dyquil!
    • Why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
      She wanted to preserve her palm.
    • What card game do lesbians play?
      Poke-her.
    • What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
      A Licker cabinet.
    • What do lesbians call potens pills?
      Batteries.
    • What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
      Hairballs.
    • What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
      A clitosaurus.
    • What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
      Toys for Twats.
    • What do you call two lesbians on their period?
      Finger Painting.
    • Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
      They don’t know how to handle wood.
    • What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
      Single!
    • What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
      A bush hog.
    • What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
      Depends.
    • What kind of humor do lesbians like?
      Tongue in cheek.
    • What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
      A weedeater.

The last 15 lesbian jokes

    • What did one lesbian say to another?
      “Your face or mine?”
    • What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
      Two can chew!
    • Why do lesbians shave there yum-yums?
      So they don’t start a fire grinding.
    • Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
      They always eat out.
    • Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
      Someone has to mow the yard.
    • What is the definition of confusion?
      3 blind lesbians in a fish market.
    • How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
      Even the pool table has no balls.
    • What drives a lesbian up the wall?
      A crack in the ceiling.
    • What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
      You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
    • If lesbians aren’t attracted to men, then why are they attracted to girls who behave like men.
    • Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what’s not ok?
      Wearing crocs!
    • How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
      Both of them.
    • A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, “Why, it’s immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?”
      The woman responds, “I have a woman in twice a week.”
    • If god hates lesbians why did he create them?
  • Gay Or Not, if a girl walks past another girl with a fat A$$ she’s going to turn around and look!
A girl reading Lesbian jokes (Created by BeksBlogs)

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2 comments

  1. How do you get a Indian in a car:
    Throw them a case of beer.

    How do you get them out:
    hand them a job application.

  2. Racquel Coldsmith

    Brilliant read. Very rare nowadays as most people just write a quick article just to get more views. This one is different! Both informative and helpful. Thank you!

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