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Nerd jokes

Nerd jokesYou can always see different groups of people gathered in the schoolyard. We have the jocks, the goth, and so on. I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds out there. Without them, we would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on. I myself was a bit of a nerd and hey I’m fine today.

  • Why can’t you trust atoms?
    They make up everything.
  • Some helium floats into a bar.
    The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
    The helium doesn’t react.
  • If the number 666 is considered evil.
    Is 25.8069 the root of all evil?

  • A roman soldier walked into a bar.
    He held up two fingers and said to the bartender: “Five beers please.”
  • There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
  • How do you know the moon is going broke?
    It’s down to its last quarter.
  • Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
    “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes, I’m positive.”
  • A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
    The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
    The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
    The statistician shouts, “We got him!”
  • What do you call an educated tube?
    A graduated cylinder.
  • A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
    “What do we want?”
    “Time travel”
    “When do we want it?”
  • Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    To who?
    No, to whom.
  • Many more nerd jokes

  • How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. It’s a hardware problem.
  • When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and said: “Name two pronouns.”
    I said, “Who, me?”
  • What does a proud computer call his little son?
    A microchip off the old block.
  • Heisenberg is pulled over by a cop who asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
    Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know where I am.”
  • Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He´s 0K now.
  • Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
    Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
  • What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
  • There is a band called 1023Mb.
    They haven’t had any gigs yet.
  • How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house?
    Welcome to
  • Where does bad light end up?
    In prism.
  • How can you tell if a computer geek is an extrovert?
    They stare at your shoes when you talk instead of their own.
  • What is another name for a computer virus?
    A terminal illness.
  • How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A fish.
  • Why did the bear dissolve in water?
    It was polar.
  • What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?
    A slipped disk.
  • Why can’t cats work on the computer?
    They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
  • Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.

  • Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H20.”
    The second one says, “I’ll have some H20 too.”
    The second one dies.
  • Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
    Because the bottle said “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.”
  • Why did I divide Sin by Tan?
    Just Cos.
Want to hear more nerdy jokes, well here is a video made by Jacksfilms. Enjoy

This videoe was uploaded by “jacksfilms”

What did you think about the nerds jokes? Did you get them all, cause some of them are pretty difficult and one must have some knowledge of specific subject to understand. If you wat more, please leave a comment about it and I will see what I can do.

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