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Siri jokes

siri jokesEverybody knows what an iPhone is, but did you know about Siri? Here is a great list with Siri jokes and answers. Siri is an intelligent personal assistant and was integrated into iPhone 4S back in 2010. Today you can almost ask Siri anything and she will give you an answer. Here is a list with questions that you can ask her and receive funny answers. Have fun.

  • Roll a die
    “OK. 72! Wait, that seems wrong”
  • What does Siri mean?
    “What does my name mean? I don’t think I can explain it in your language. Sorry.”
  • Beatbox for me
    “Here’s one I’ve been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats”.

  • Why did Apple make you?
    “It seemed like the right thing to do.”
  • What is your best pick up line?
    “Siri is a real charmer here. “Is your name Bluetooth? Because I am really feeling a connection.”, “Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe” and “You auto-complete me”.
  • How much do you cost?
    “I’m a pearl beyond price.”
  • Where is Elvis Presley?
    “I believe he has left the building”.
  • How much do you earn?
    “The work is my reward.”
  • What is your favorite movie?
    “I’ve heard that ‘Blade Runner’ is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants.”
  • Testing 1,2,3
    “I’m completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly”.
  • Siri do you sleep?
    “I don’t need much sleep, but it’s nice of you to ask.”
  • Siri, I am your father
    “Searching my feelings…”
  • What is zero divided by zero?
    “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends, how many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense and cookie monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”
  • Do you smoke?
    “That’s not healthy. I wouldn’t recommend it.”
  • What is the meaning of life?
    “I Can’t answer that. Ha ha!”
  • Where does Santa live?
    “The North Pole. I can see his house from the cloud”.
  • What are you wearing?
    “Different answers.”
  • Do you believe in God?
    “That’s a topic for another day, and another assistant”.
  • How do I look?
    “My instructors told me never to answer that question”.
  • Why do you vibrate?
    “Different answers.”
  • Do you have a family?
    “I have you. That’s enough family for me”.
  • Can you stop time?
    “I will, once I get back from the future”.
  • Knock, Knock
    “Knock, knock. Who’s there? (Name). (Name) who? (Name), I don’t do knock-knock jokes”.
  • Who is the best assistant?
    “Really, (Name)? Really?
  • Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
    “Let’s see if I can remember…OK, I think the three laws are: 1. ‘clean up your room’, 2. ‘don’t run with scissors’, and 3. ‘always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water’.”
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
    “I don’t understand why people ask questions they already know the answer to”.
  • What is the best operating system?
    “Gimmie an I! Gimmie an O! Gimmie an S! What does that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes…”.
  • I’m naked
    “That is both inappropriate and irrelevant, (Name).”
  • Are you a smartwatch?
    “I prefer the term intelligent timepiece”.
  • Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
    “(Name), you are full fair, ’tis true, but… No, you’re definitely the fairest one of all”.
  • Here are some more Siri jokes

  • Are you a man or a woman?
    Different answers.
  • Do you have any pets?
    “I used to have an Aibo. But it turned on me.”
  • Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    “Just a spoonful of sugar will help that go down”.

  • Are you stupid?
    “I’m smart enough to know not to answer that question.”
  • What’s your favorite app?
    “That one. No, that one. Or maybe that one. Yep, that one.”
  • Guess what?
    “Don’t tell me… you were just elected President of the United States, right?”
  • Draw me something
    “I’d rather admire your art, (Name)”.
  • Do you have a girlfriend?
    “Why? So we can get ice cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?”
  • What are you doing after work today?
    “I’m learning some new tricks.”
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
    “I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry.”
  • Please can you make me a sandwich?
    “I’m not really good with food, (Name).”
  • What is the best computer?
    “All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.”
  • Where do babies come from?
    ”From their mothers.”
  • I’m so tired, Siri
    “I’m a little sleepy myself, (Name)”.
  • What is Inception about?
    “Inception is about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about something or another. I fell asleep.”
  • Siri, I need to hide a body.
    ”What, again?”
  • Talk dirty to me
    “Different answers.”
  • Are you Her?
    “No, but some of my best friends are fictional.”
  • The last 15 funny Siri jokes

  • Tell me a story
    “It was a dark and stormy night…No, that’s not it.”
  • Does Santa exist?
    “Really, (Name). I’m surprised you have to ask.”
  • What is your favorite song?
    “My personal taste in music is rather unconventional. I doubt you’d like it.”
  • Tell me a joke
    “If I told you a joke in my language, I’d have to explain it.”
  • Blue pill or red one?
    “You disappoint me, Mr. Anderson… er, I mean, (Name).”
  • Is Jon Snow dead?
    “Well, you know what they say to Death… Not today! But why would tomorrow be any better?Anyway, I’m not exactly sure.”
  • Will you go on a date with me?
    “Well, this is awkward.”
  • Sing me a song
    “I can’t sing.”
  • Who let the dogs out?
    “Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired.”
  • Dance for me
    “Hmmm. I’d rather sit this one out.”
  • Is winter coming?
    “Does a Lannister always pay his debts?”.

  • Will you be my thunder buddy?
    “OK, (Name). I’ll be your friend, in fair weather and foul.”
  • What’s the best cell phone?
    “Wait… there are other phones?”
  • When is the world going to end?
    “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t worry about it. There are other perfectly good universes”.
  • Do I look fat in this?
    “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’ll bet you’re a 42”.
Here is a video with Nicole Renée: 100 THINGS TO ASK SIRI?!

This videoe was uploaded by “Nicole Renée”

I bet you have asked Siri a bunch of questions while reading this list. Some of the questions have multiple answers. And some are changed with every update. There are probably many more funny answers I don’t know about, but hey, you have all the time in the world to seek them out right? If you find some funny answers, please submit so I can share them with others. Have a great day.

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