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Dumb jokes

Dumb jokes
Here is a category which consist only of dumb jokes. They are so dumb that they are on the verge of being funny. Don’t believe me? Read them and decide for yourself.

If you don’ like these jokes, know that we got many others categories I’m sure will me more to your liking.

  • What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
    Wipes his ass.
  • Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg?
    He’s all right now.
  • Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
    Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
    Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
    Man: No, I’m a barber.



  • I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger.
    And then it hit me.
  • Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
    Because he had a great fall.
  • What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
    A zebra with a sun burn.
  • People wonder why I call my toilet “The Jim” instead of “The John.”
    I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”
  • What’s the tallest building in the world?
    The library, cause it has the most stories.
  • What is green and sits crying in the corner?
    The incredible Sulk.
  • I went to the bank the other day and asked the teller to check my balance.
    The bitch pushed me, but I couldn’t really blame her.
  • Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
    There’s no point.
  • Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
    Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
  • Money doesn’t grow on trees, right?
    So why does every bank have so many branches?
  • How do trees get online?
    They log in.
  • What has four legs, one foot and one head?
    A bed.
  • Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
    Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
    A small medium at large.
  • Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?
    Andy has diabetes now.
  • Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
    The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
  • Why did the pig leave the party early?
    Because everyone thought he was a boar.
  • Want more dumb jokes?

  • One twin to the other: “You are ugly.”
  • What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
    Snowballs.
  • How come oysters never donate to charity?
    Because they’re shellfish.
  • Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
    Because they’re dead.
  • Why are barns so noisy?
    Because all the cows have horns.
  • What do computers snack on?
    Microchips.
  • What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?
    “We have a toot in common.”
  • Why can’t you trust an atom?
    Because they make up literally everything.
  • What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
    You’re too young to smoke.
  • What did the farmer say when he lost his sheep?
    Where’s my sheep?
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy bear.
  • What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?
    Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.
  • Guess who I saw yesterday?
    Everyone I looked at.



  • How do fish get high?
    Seaweed.
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    Everything’s fine. He woke up.
  • Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
    Because its head is so far up from its body.
  • What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
  • Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert?
    Because they’re always stuffed.
  • The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms.
  • What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet?
    “Supplies!”
  • What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?
    A waist of time.
  • You know why when geese fly in a V, one side of the V is longer than the other?
    There’s more geese on that side.
  • I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
    But when I got home, all the signs were there.
  • The last 12 dumb jokes

  • What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
    Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!
  • Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
    Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.
  • How can you get four suits for a dollar?
    Buy a deck of cards.
  • What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
    One says, “Spit out your gum” and the other says, “Choo choo choo.”
  • Why is Peter Pan always flying?
    Because he never lands.
  • What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
    A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
  • What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck?
    “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.”
  • What did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile?
    Get in the batmobile.
  • What’s so great about being a hitman?
    They all kill it.
  • Why didn’t the melons get married?
    Because they cantaloupe.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what comes next in June?
    Pilgrims.
  • A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.
    Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
Here is a great video with lots of dumb jokes just for you.

This videoe was uploaded by “TOP x BEST”

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