Midget jokes

• • I met a couple of really short people today.
    They were really down-to-earth guys.

• • When do you kick a midget in the balls?
    When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice.

• • Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
    The grass tickles their balls!

• • What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?
    Very little.

• • What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar?
    “Sorry, I’m a little short”.

• • Why can’t midgets wear tampons?
    Because they keep stepping on the string!

• • There’s only one group in society that I look down on…
    Midgets.

• • What do you call a midget with 3 legs?
    Excited.

• • I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
    A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
    I said, “Well which one are you then?”

• • What do you call a psychic midget wanted by the police?
    A small medium at large.

• • What do you call a poor midget?
    Short changed.

• • I played a round of miniature golf with my really short friend yesterday.
    Or as he called it, golf.

• • What is the definition of “pissed off”?
    A midget with a yo-yo.

• • Why shouldn’t you hire a midget chef?
    The steaks are too high.

• • I bumped into an old midget friend of mine yesterday.
    Small world.

Funny midget jokes

• • What did one small person say to the other on a swing?
    I’ll push you in a midget!

• • Two midgets walk into a mini-bar…

• • What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer?
    A short circuit.

• • What do you call a party with 100 midgets?
    A little get together.

• • It’s too bad things didn’t work out between my midget girlfriend and me.
    I was just nuts over her.

• • What do you call a gangster hobbit?
    YOLO SWAGGINS.

• • What do you call a Mexican midget?
    A paragraph cause he’s too short to be an essay.

• • My friend is really sensitive about his lack of height.
    It’s best not to tease him about though, or he’ll punch you in the knee.

• • What did the doctor say to the midget?
    You just have to be a little patient.

• • How do you piss of a midget?
    Give him a yo-yo.

• • You’re so small that when it rains you’re the last to know!

• • Why don’t midgets need a wall to play handball?
    They just use the curb!

• • Why did the man seek counseling after finger banging a midget?
    He never thought he’d stoop so low.

• • I crashed a midgets wedding recently. I didn’t like him.
    I just wanted to see if he vanished when he put the ring on.

• • What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?
    A little man about so tall.

• • What bank do midgets use?
    The Piggy Bank!

• • Why are midgets called paragraphs in Mexico?
    Because they’re too short to be called essays.

• • Why are gay midgets so appealing?
    They can suck a dick standing up!

• • Why are most midgets good guys?
    Because they don’t look down on people.

• • Midget jokes aren’t half as funny as normal-people jokes.

• • What do midgets look forward to in life?
    Growing up!

The last 10 midget jokes

• • Why can’t Midgets rob a gas station?
    Because they can’t reach the counter.

• • What do you call a Chinese midget?
    Tai Nee.

• • What does a midget model do?
    Pose for trophies!

• • What does a zombie call a midget with a bike?
    A happy meal.

• • What do you call a Chubby Midget?
    Low Fat.

• • Why don’t people ask midgets for favors?
    Because they have short term memories!

• • How do you offend a midget?
    Hand him a step stool before you start talking to him.

• • What did the midget say when he got angry?
    Sorry, I’ve got a short temper.

• • What did the man say to his midget waiter?
    No No No I said I wanted shrimp for dinner!