Funny Jokes and Insults
I see these Helen Keller jokes as a tribute to a wonderful and amazing woman who changed the world to a better place. She showed the world that we are our own limitation of our dreams. She was both deaf and blind and still archived much more than many of us do. She was an author, political activist, lecturer and earned a bachelor of arts degree while being blind and deaf. Can you do the same?
- How do you mess with Helen Keller?
Give her a basketball and tell her to read it. - Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s a woman!
No seriously why can’t she drive?
Because she’s dead! - How did the Helen Keller try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff. - Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes?
Because she can’t hear them anyway! - What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?
Velcro. - Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet?
Her dog was blind too. - Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?
She uses the other to sing with. - Why does Helen Keller’s husband always yells at her?
Because she doesn’t listen. - How did Helen Keller break her arms?
Trying to read road signs at 40mph. - If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
- Why was Helen Keller’s belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind, too. - How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler. - What happened when Helen Keller tried to rob a bank?
She tied up the safe and blew up the guards. - How did Helen Keller burn her face?
By answering the iron!
How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back! - Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face?
She tried eating with a fork. - How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date! - What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store?
Just looking! - What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game?
Musical Chairs. - Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll?
You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture! - Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad?
Neither has she! - What did Helen Keller say to the priest?
Nothing, she didn’t know he was there. - Did you know Helen Keller was one of the first people to go to Disneyworld?
Neither did she. - Whats helen keller’s favorite color?
Black. - How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret?
Break her fingers. - Why did Helen Keller go crazy?
She was trying to read a stucko wall. - How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet. - Why did Helen Keller cross the road?
What, like she know’s where she’s going? - Why can’t Hellen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog. - Dan: I’ve never seen the Helen Keller movie.
Mike: Don’t worry, neither did she. - What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing?
Washed her hands with soap. - How do you punish Helen Keller?
By rearranging the living-room furniture. - What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
She screamed her hands off. - Shoosh girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips!
- How did Helen Keller burn her hands?
She was trying to read a waffle iron. - You swing like Helen Keller at pinata party.
- Roses are black, violets are black. I’m Helen Keller.
- Tony Romo is about as accurate as Helen Keller playing pin the tail on the donkey WITH a blindfold on.
- If Helen Keller were alone in a forest and fell down, would she make a sound?
- Did you hear about the new Hellenic Keller doll….. she didn’t.
- Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a table, then a chair.
- What did Helen Keller get for Christmas?
Polio! she had everything else.
Many more Helen Keller jokes
This videoe was uploaded by “cro508”
Any comment on these Helen Keller jokes? We all know that she was blind and deaf and many of these jokes emphasizes it. She was an inspiring woman that followed her dreams despise the lack of sight and sound. So don’t feel bad about these jokes, they are also a part of her legacy in some sort.
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