Yo mama jokes

• • Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

• • Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.

• • Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said “Hey miss, lost a shoe?” she said “Nope, just found one!”

• • Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.

• • Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!

• • Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking.

• • Yo mama is so poor that she married young just to get the rice!

• • Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

• • Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.

• • Yo mama is so poor that her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

• • Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!

• • Yo mama is so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

• • Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

• • Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.

• • Yo mama is so fat that that she cant tie her own shoes.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.

• • Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a garbage truck.

• • Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out.

• • Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.

• • Yo mama is so poor that your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that… well… look at you!

• • Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.

• • Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team!

• • Yo mama is so poor that burglars break in and leave money.

• • Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class.

• • Yo mama is so stupid that when she went for a blood test, she asked for time to study.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that she scared the crap out of the toilet.

• • Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

• • Yo mama is so poor that she can’t afford to pay attention!

• • Yo mama’s so dumb that when she saw the “Under 17 not admitted” sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.

• • Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads “one at a time, please”.

• • Yo mama is so poor that the bank repossesed her cardboard box.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.

• • Yo mama so fat she goes to KFC and licks other people’s fingers.

• • Yo mama so dumb when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

• • Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

• • Yo momma so fat Burger King hired her because she eats cows and give birth to hamburgers.

• • Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

• • Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.

• • Yo mama so fat she ate a whole Pizza… Hut.

• • Yo mama is so dumb she got awarded the Nobel prize for stupidity.

• • Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

• • Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gasoline money!

• • Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her what’s she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

• • Yo mama so fat that she don’t need the internet she’s already world wide.

• • Yo mama is so dumb not even Google could translate her.

• • Yo mama so butch, her dick is bigger than mine.

• • Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

• • Yo mama so fat she just had a baby and said it was delicious.

• • Yo mama so greasy and fat she uses bacon as a band aid.

• • Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon!

• • Yo mama so fat all she wanted for Christmas is to see her feet.

• • Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her behind and said, “I GOT THE POWER!”

• • Yo mama so dumb she thought a tsunami was a kind of Japanese sushi

• • Yo Momma’s so fat when I told her to touch her toes she said, “What are those”?

• • Yo mama so fat that she gave Dracula diabetes.

• • Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, “IT’S CHEWBACCA!”

• • Yo momma so fat and dumb, she tears apart computers looking for cookies.

• • Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

• • Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.

• • Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

• • Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix it.”

• • Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

• • Yo mama so fat she went to a restaurant and got the group discount.

• • Yo momma’s so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

• • Yo mama is so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.

• • Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go the other way.

• • Yo mama so nasty she looks like an ogre and smells like puss in boots.

• • Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

• • Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

• • Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

• • Yo mama so fat her blood type is Nutella.

• • Yo momma is so fat that Dora can’t even explore her!

• • Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

• • Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

• • Yo mama so fat, every time she walks she does the Harlem shake.

• • Yo momma’s so dumb, when y’all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left,” so she went home.

• • Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly nothing!

• • Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

• • Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.

• • Yo mamma is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out.

• • Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

• • Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.”

• • Yo mama so dumb when yo father said let’s hit the Road she actually hit the road.

• • Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, “TWINKIE!”

• • Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica.

• • Yo momma is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

• • Yo mama so fat, they used Google Earth for her school photo.

• • Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.

• • Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

• • Yo momma is so poor I saw her kicking a trash can so I asked, “What are you doing?” and she said, “I’m moving.”

• • Yo mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Can you handle more of Yo mama jokes

• • Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.

• • Yo mama so butch, her middle name is Rambo.

• • Yo momma’s so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

• • Yo mama so dumb, she thought THE EXORCIST was a workout video.

• • Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out.

• • Yo mama so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her.

• • Your momma’s so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.

• • Your mama so dumb she tried to climb mountain dew.

• • Yo momma’s so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.

• • Yo mama like the Pillsbury dough boy. Everybody pokes her.

• • Yo momma is so stupid that she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

• • Yo Mama’s so dirty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

• • Yo momma is so ugly she turned Medusa into stone.

• • Yo mamma so dumb she brought nuts to the Nutcracker.

• • Yo mamma is so ugly, she scared the sh** out of the toilet.

• • Yo mama so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting “wait you forgot the remote”.

• • Yo momma’s so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled “oil spill!”

• • Yo momma is so dumb she stuck a phone up her behind to make a booty call.Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.

• • Yo mama so fat, she masterbates to the food channel.

• • Yo mama so fat she wears a sock on each toe.

• • Yo mama so old her birth certificate says “expired”.

• • Yo momma is so poor she created a gmail account just so she can eat the spam.

• • Yo mama is so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn’t solve that mystery.

• • Yo momma so fat she sued Xbox 360 for guessing her weight.

• • Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.

• • Yo momma is poor when I sat on a skateboard she said (get of my family van).

• • Yo momma is so fat her favorite basketball team is the Denver Nuggets.

• • Yo mama is so dumb. She went to the eye doctor to buy an iPad.

• • Yo mama so dumb she went to the dentist to get her Bluetooth fixed.

• • Yo momma so butch, she’s twice the man you are.

• • Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”

• • Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.

• • Your mom is so fat that she can’t fit in this joke.

• • Yo momma so fat her cereal bowl comes with a life guard.

• • Yo mamma is so dumb she goes to a White Castle, flushes the toilet and calls it a royal flush!

• • Yo mom is like a bowling ball, she is picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more!

• • Yo Mama so dumb, she brought a ladder to go to HIGH SCHOOL!

• • Yo mama’s so dumb she returned a puzzle because it was broken.

• • Yo momma is so fat she gives birth to lard.

• • Your mama so dumb that she thought seaweed was something that FISH SMOKE!

• • Yo mama so stupid, she tripped over a WIRELESS network!

• • Yo momma so fat when she sat on a penny and Abraham Lincolin said ouch.

• • Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill she squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.

• • Yo mama so fat she’s the reason African kids are starving

• • Yo mama so dumb, she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining!

• • Yo mama so butch even her pool table has no balls.

• • Yo mama so dirty I told her to do the robot. And now R2D2 has AIDS

• • Yo mama so dumb she took a doughnut back cause it had a hole in it.

• • Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

• • Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!

• • Your mama so dumb she put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

• • Yo mama so dumb, when she heard the middle of the road is where accidents happen, she went there and peed herself.

• • Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

• • Yo mama so fat she stuffed a turkey with her fat.

• • Yo Momma so fat, I bumped into her and said “Sorry, my mistake.” She said “Did you just say steak?”

• • Yo mama so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.

• • Yo mama so dumb she tried to drown a fish.

• • Yo mama so fat when God said let there be light, he asked her to move out of the way.

• • Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory.

• • Yo momma so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to work in the morning is the front door.

• • Yo mama so dumb she ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald’s and said, “Hold the cheese”.

• • Yo mama so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

• • Yo mama so dumb she couldn’t see the forest cause “the trees were blocking it.”

• • Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.

• • Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”

• • Yo mama’s so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin.

• • Yo mama so nasty I asked her how to spell anaconda, and she said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

• • Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

• • Yo mama so dumb when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

• • Yo mama so dirty when she walk down the street poor people offer her soap.

• • Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

• • Yo mama so fat she has two watches one for each time zone she’s in.

• • Yo mama so dirty, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice.

• • Yo Mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was an ATM.

• • Yo mama so nasty when she went to red lobster they kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.

• • Yo mama has so many teeth missing, that it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Read more hilarious Yo mama jokes

• • Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

• • Yo mama so fat when she back up she beeps.

• • Yo mama’s so nasty, she stuck in a cucumber and pulled out a pickle.

• • Yo mama like humpty dumpty first she is humped then she is dumped.

• • Yo mama so fat she puts mayonnaise on her diet pills.

• • Yo mama so fat, her address is McDonalds.

• • Yo momma so dumb I told her christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.

• • Yo mama so dumb if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.

• • Yo mama’s so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.

• • Yo mama so nasty she’s like a nascar driver she burns 50 rubbers a day!

• • Yo mama so dumb she went to the library to find Facebook.

• • Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

• • Your mama so fat the only letters in the alphabet she knows is KFC.

• • Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.

• • Yo mama so fat shes on the seafood diet, she sees food and she eats it.

• • Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

• • Yo mama so dumb it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

• • Yo momma so dumb, the smartest thing to come out of her mouth was a nut.

• • Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave.

• • Yo mama so lazy the only two letters of the alphabet she knows is NO.

• • Yo mama mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.

• • Yo mama so fat her favorite actor is Kevin Bacon.

• • Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping the bears hide their food.

• • Yo momma is so hairy she makes a gorilla look shaved.

• • Yo momma so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.

• • Yo Mama’s so fat she uses a Snickers for a toothbrush.

• • Yo mamma is so hairy when she puts on a yellow dress she looks like big bird.

• • Yo mama so dumb that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

• • Yo mama so hairy and ugly when big foot saw her he thought she was his true love.

• • Yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time!

• • Yo mama so fat when she gets a cut she bleeds milkshake.

• • Yo mamma so dumb she thought Starbucks was a bank.

• • Yo mama so dumb when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

• • Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody!

• • Yo mama so hairy her butt hairs get clogged in the toilet when she flushes.

• • Yo Mamas so hairy, even her STD’s gets lost”!

• • Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPad and turned it into a Flat Screen TV.

• • Yo mamas so fat she has more rolls than a bakery!

• • Yo momma is so ugly when she looks in the mirror Bloody Mary goes away.

• • Yo momma is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

• • Yo mama so dumb when she saw a drive thru sign in McDonalds, she drove straight thru the building.

• • Yo mama so fat she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

• • Yo mama so hairy, that you need a lawn mower for her back.

• • Yo mama so old they moved her out of the retirement home and in to the museum.

• • Yo mama so hairy when she moans she sounds like Chewbacca.

• • Yo mama so dumb when I told her a Tsunami hit, she said “Why didn’t you hit back?”.

The last 25 jokes about Yo mama

• • Your mom so fat when she got on the scale the doctor looked at the number and said “That’s my phone number.”

• • Yo momma so dumb she put paper on the tv ad and calls it paper view.

• • Yo mama is so fat, it took 3 years for Nationwide to get on her side.

• • Yo momma so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

• • Yo mama so dumb she thinks brownies are people with brown skin.

• • Yo momma chest so hairy her head look like a coconut.

• • Yo mama so dumb I asked her what she does for a living and she said breathe.

• • Yo momma so cross eyed, her husband left her for seeing someone on the side.

• • Yo mama so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.

• • Yo mama so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.

• • Yo mama’s legs are like the library, they’re always open to the public.

• • Yo mama so fat her stretch marks got stretch marks.

• • Yo mama so hairy when you’re baby brother was born, he died of rug burn.

• • Yo mama so dumb she stole free bread.

• • Yo mama is so fat she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

• • Yo momma so fat, her car has stretch marks.

• • Yo momma so fat, she got stuck in an armless chair.

• • Yo mama so fat the shadow of her butt weighs fifty pounds.

• • Yo mama so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I wasn’t laughing but the stairs were cracking up.

• • Yo mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror Micheal Jackson sings beat it.

• • Yo mamma is so stupid she gave birth to you on the I-75 because she heard that’s where accidents happen.

• • Yo mama so dumb she got stabbed in a shootout.

• • Your mama so fat she has pictures of food in her wallet.

• • Yo mama so fat when she said beam me up Scotty he said, “I can’t your too heavy.”

• • Yo mama so dumb she asked you “What is the number for 911”.