Funny Jokes and Insults
Cheesy jokes for both kids and adults of all ages. Some might sound cliché others plainly weird, but I promise you that no matter how tough you think you are, there is a jokes that will make you crack. Feel free to share with your friend, family and strangers just for the fun of it. Enjoy.
- What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
A barberqueue. - What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits! - What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest! - Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks! - What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta. - Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because his mom and dad were in a jam. - What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick. - Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was a little shellfish. - What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
You look flushed. - Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose. - Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in! - Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless. - What kind of hair does a beach have?
Wavy. - What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match. - What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
Quattro Sinko. - What does the sun drink out of?
Sunglasses. - Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a short cut. - Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash! - What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh. - What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck. - How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it! - What kind of photos do teeth take?
Toothpics! - What do call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese. - How do you make a venetian blind.
Poke him in the eyes. - I was going to tell a joke about fishing…
But I forgot the line. - Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
He was a little hoarse. - What do you call bears with no ears?
B. - Jokes about air conditioners?
Not a fan. - What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer! - What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador. - What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time. - What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court. - What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction. - Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pencil-vania. - What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow! - Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?
She couldn’t control her pupils. - How do hens cheer for their team?
They egg them on! - Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks! - What is the difference between girl spaghetti and man spaghetti?
Meatballs. - What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday, of course! - What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time. - Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop. - Where do the poor meatballs live?
The sphaghetto! - Where did the computer go to dance?
To a disc-o. - Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
To get a tweetment. - What did the sweet potato wear to bed?
His pa-yam-as. - What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red Paint. - Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze! - As a wizard, I like turning things into glass.
I just wanted to make that clear. - Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years! - What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A Bed. - What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Do-you-think-he-saurus. - How do you shoot a killer bee?
With a bee-bee gun. - Why did Roger go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date! - Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine?
It didn’t go down well. - Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
Because it was not peeling well. - Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus! - How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it’s full. - Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A taxi driver. - What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
It barked with de-light! - What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork Chop. - What kind of dogs like car racing?
Lap dogs. - Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam! - What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner?
A cold shoulder. - What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
Hi Cliff! - What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
Show me the honey! - What do you call a police officer in bed?
An undercover cop! - Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming! - What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
The road! - What does a Mexican cow call his friends?
MOO-chacho. - What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something! - Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station! - Why did the pizza maker run from the mafia?
He owed them a lot of dough! - Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck! - What do you call a baby monkey?
A Chimp off the old block. - Why did the skeleton sleep in the snow last night?
He was a numbskull. - What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks. - Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! - What do you call clumsy grapes?
Unconcordinated. - What kind of animal do you not want to play games with?
A cheetah. - What word is always spelled wrong in the Dictionary?
Wrong. - What streets do ghosts live on?
Dead Ends! - What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy. - What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite. - Why does the vampire always get picked last?
Because he sucks. - Why did the chicken get a penalty?
For fowl play! - Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired! - Why was the sand wet?
The sea weed. - What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
a Vel-Crow. - What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! - What is a cheerleader’s favorite drink?
Rootbeer. - When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary. - What washes up on very small beaches?
Microwaves. - How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles. - What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble. - What pet makes the loudest noise?
A trum-pet! - What kind of button won’t unbutton?
A bellybutton! - Where do boats go when they get sick?
The dock. - What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A heavy discussion. - What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious! - Which month do soldiers hate most?
The month of March! - What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look grandpa, no hands! - What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless! - What kind of crackers do firefighters like in their soup?
Firecrackers! - What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. - What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar! - Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
“Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’. - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out-standing in his field. - What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
Post Office! - What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A refrigerator. - Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet. - What kind of dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog. - What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
You’re too young to smoke! - What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I’ll go on a head. - Why couldn’t dracula’s wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin. - What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
Oh Snap! - Why are pirates called pirates?
Cause they arrrrr. - What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones. - What three candies can you find in every school?
Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. - How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
One! After that it’s not empty! - What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue. - What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
I just love baskin’ robins. - How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path. - Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers?
They’re calling it infant-tile! - Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy. - Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Many more cheesy jokes
The last 12 Cheesy jokes
https://youtu.be/iU5zbKMyVys
This videoe was uploaded by “Landon Austin’s Vlog!”
If you are reading this, that means that you like jokes that are a bit corky, cheesy, corny and so on. And hey there is nothing wrong with that. Although I’m not the biggest fan of this category, many of these still made me smile. If you liked them, please leave a comment down below. And hey, don’t be a stranger, I will add more cheesy jokes to this list.
Have a great day.
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