White people jokes

• • Why do white people own so many pets?
    Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.

• • What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?
    The NBA.

• • How do white guys satisfy their wives?
    They hire a pool boy.

• • Why don’t people tell white jokes?
    They want to keep their jobs.

• • What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
    The redneck virgin.

• • What do you call a white man in the ghetto?
    A victim.

• • People are like crayons.
    No one likes the white ones.

• • What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
    You know he did it.

• • Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?
    Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

• • How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack?
    He walked in and payed for it.

• • What do you call a white person playing with gasoline?
    A fire cracker.

• • What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?
    The PGA Tour.

More white people jokes

• • Why did the white guy go to the black guy’s yard sale?
    To get his stuff back.

• • What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
    A white girl’s ass!

• • What do you call a White man with a sheep under each arm?
    A Pimp.

• • What do you call a black guy with millions of white friends?
    Mr Predisent.

• • What do you call a white boy screaming as dragged down the highway behind a black man’s pickup truck?
    A white lane marker.

• • What does a white woman make for dinner?
    Reservations.

• • Why shouldn’t white people go swimming?
    Because crackers get soggy when wet.

• • What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?”
    A contestant.

• • What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him?
    “I forgive you”

• • Why did the white man visit the moon?
    He heard that the indians had land there.

• • What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV?
    “Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

• • What does a white man do when he is unhappy with our current government decisions?
    He writes a letter.

• • What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city?
    A hockey victory.

• • How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman?
    Throw them a golf ball.

• • Where would you see a white man trying to break up a fight with black men?
    On the ground unconscious.

• • What do you call a white man in court?
    The lawyer.

• • What do you call a white person when he’s mad?
    A cry baby.

• • How long does it take for a white women to take a crap?
    9 months.

• • What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?
    An improvement.

• • Why cant white men jump?
    They were too busy making racist jokes.

• • How many white people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    None they’ll have a nig*** do it!

• • How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
    None, white girls can’t screw.

• • How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    One, white men will screw anything.

• • Why did the white man cross the road?
    Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

• • What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
    A straight line!

The last 20 white people jokes

• • What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs?
    File a lawsuit.

• • What did the white man do before his blood test?
    He studied.

• • Why do white people like to play hockey?
    It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

• • Why did white people own slaves?
    They were not strong enough to pick cotton – weak bastards.

• • Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
    It’s hard to find them in the snow.

• • What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?
    They are both black people with white faces.

• • You know what sucks about being white?
    Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia… I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

• • What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama?
    A lynching.

• • What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
    A Dope Ring!

• • What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl?
    Crackers.

• • What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
    Snow.

• • What do you call a white cop?
    Police brutality.

• • What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
    The NBA.

• • What’s the difference between a white man and a snake?
    One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

• • What does a white man do at the club?
    Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

• • What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile?
    A taxi.

• • What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?
    Crackers with cheese.

• • What’s white and fourteen inches long?
    Absolutely nothing!

• • What’s orange white and very beautiful?
    A white boy on fire.

• • A white guy doesn’t want to be disturbed.
    Unless Disturbed comes out with a new album.