Mexican jokes

• • What do u call mexicans on a trampapoline?
    Mexican jumping beans.

• • Give a Mexican a fish and you feed him for a day.
    Teach him to fish and you feed him for two days.

• • Why don’t Mexicans play hide and seek?
    Cause nobody will look for them?

• • What’s a mexicans favorite book store?
    Borders.

• • What do you call a mexican who’s had his car stolen?
    Carlos.

• • An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn’t care about what happens to them.The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn’t care what happens to it.The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window!

• • Why do mexicans have small stearing wheels?
    So they can drive with handcuffs on.

• • What does a mexican get for christmas?
    Your TV.

• • What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower?
    Promoted.

• • What do you call a building full of Mexicans?
    Jail.

• • What do you call one Mexican on the moon? A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?
    Problem solved.

• • What do mexicans and vending machines have in common?
    They both take your money and don’t work.

• • Why aren’t there any mexican’s in hell?
    They jumped the border.

• • Why do mexicans wear their baseball cap with the brim up?
    So they have a place to keep their taco.

• • Why are mexicans and basketball players a like?
    They both run jump shoot and steal.

• • Why do mexicans wear pointed boots?
    Because it makes it easier to get over a fence.

• • Why do mexicans put there names on their car.
    So they dont steal them.

• • Why do mexican kids walk around school like they own the place?
    Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.

• • What did the mexican say to the house that fell on him
    Get off me home’s.

We got a lot of great jokes about mexicans

• • How do you keep mexicans from stealing?
    Put everything on the top shelf.

• • How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Juan.

• • What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?
    One can raise a child.

• • What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards the alamo?
    Who ordered concrete?

• • What do you call a Mexican with a new car?
    A felon.

• • Why cant mexicans play uno?
    Because they always steal the green card.

• • Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?
    They don’t work in the future either!

• • An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive” The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

• • This Mexican dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Texan sees him. After the Mexican is done the texan bloke asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?” The Mexican smiles, “Senior, we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands.”

• • What you call a preppy Mexican who has thrown away his highschool football jacket, for soccer colors?
    A jocko taco.

• • What do you call Mexicans running down hill?
    Mud slide.

• • My Latino friend was angry I made a Mexican joke, so I said “Lets taco bout it.”

• • Mexican and Black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

• • There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.

• • What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower
    Useless unemployed mexicant.

• • How do you find the population of Mexico?
    Roll a quarter down the street.
    How do you find the richest person in Mexico?
    See who got the quarter!

• • I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl. Until I asked her if she had papers, she immediately ran off.

• • Whats the difference between a Hispanic and a book?
    The book has papers.

• • How many people can one man keep behind a wall?
    The entire population of Mexico. – Donald Trump

• • Did you hear about the two car pile-up in the Walmart parking lot?
    50 Mexicans died.

• • Two mexicans are in a car, who is driving?
    A cop.

• • What’s a mexican’s favorite sport?
    Cross country.

• • How do you stop a Mexican tank?
    Shoot the guy pushing it.

• • What do you call a group of stoned mexicans?
    Baked beans.

• • Why can’t mexicans be firemen?
    They can’t tell the difference between jose and hose b.

• • Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?
    They only had two vans.

• • What is the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of crap?
    The bucket.

• • When a Mexican runs into a wall what’s the first thing that hits?
    His Lawn Mower.

• • What do you call a mexican that is barefoot and stepped in poop with his toe?
    A PUTO.

• • What is the difference between a pizza and a mexican?
    A pizza can feed a family of four.

• • What do you call a mexican baptism?
    Bean dip.

Here is some more funny mexican jokes

• • What do you call a mexican that can’t do anything?
    A mexican’t.

• • If there was a maze with with a million dollars in the center who do you think would win: The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart mexican, or dumb mexican?
    The dumb mexican, the rest don’t exist.

• • What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black person?
    Somebody too lazy to steal.

• • How Do You Starve A Mexican?
    Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.

• • Why doesn’t the border have electric wires?
    Because Mexicans will steal the electricity to power their house.

• • Why don’t mexicans cross the border in 3’s?
    Because it says no trespassing.

• • A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, “Mom, look – I’m a white boy!” His mom slaps him in the face and says, “Go show your father.” He goes to his dad in the living room and says, “Look Dad, I’m a white boy.” His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, “Go show your grandmother.” The boy goes into his grandmother’s room and say, “Mira, Abuelita, I’m a white boy.” His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, “See, did you learn anything from that?” To which the boy replies, “Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!”

• • What do you call a midget mexican?
    Paragraph because he is too short to be an essay.

• • What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?
    Chingos.

• • Why are Mexicans so short?
    They all live in basement apartments.

• • Why don’t mexicans bbq?
    The beans fall through the little holes.

• • Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
    Me neither.

• • Juan, Carlos, and Antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?
    Society.

• • What do you call mexican basketball?
    Juan on Juan.

• • What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
    Steal a chicken.

• • What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?
    I don’t know but it could pick lettuce good.

• • What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
    A miracle.

• • How do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
    Put up a help-wanted sign.

• • This Mexican dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Texan sees him.
    After the Mexican is done the texan bloke asks him, “How come you Mexicans don’t wash your hands after you pee?”
    The Mexican smiles, “Senior, we Mexicans don’t piss in our hands.”

The last 25 mexican jokes

• • Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?
    Yeah. Me neither.

• • What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
    Cuatro Cinco.

• • What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
    Their nose.

• • Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. “What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”

• • What’s the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
    A bench can support a family.

• • Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
    They are too short to get into any other type of car.

• • Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
    Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

• • What do you call a completely shaven Mexican?
    A smooth criminal.

• • A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
    Jail Break.

• • What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
    Mexicans.

• • What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
    Grand Theft Auto.

• • Why did God give Mexicans noses?
    So they’ll have something to pick in the winter.

• • What is the greatest Mexican invention?
    A solar powered flash light.

• • Why wasn’t Jesus born in Mexico?
    He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

• • How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Doesn’t matter, they’re too short to reach the socket.

• • What do you call tall Mexicans?
    Churros.

• • Why are Mexicans so short?
    When they’re young, their parents say, “When you get bigger you have to get a good job.”

• • What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?
    Alien vs Predator.

• • Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
    Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

• • Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
    He joined the que que que.

• • What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
    Chase after him, it’s probably yours!

• • Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, “The Mexican picked a watermelon.”

• • How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
    Throw food stamps in it.

• • What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
    Roberto!

• • What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
    Unemployed.