I would like to apologize to all Jews if you feel offended by these jokes. I am neither a racist nor trying to provoke a bad behavior towards others. These jokes are just jokes and everyone should know that it is only for fun, and nothing serious. Now that said, I hope will like these jew jokes.
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- What’s the definition of a queer Jew?
Someone that likes girls more than money.
- What’s the definition of a queer Jew?
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- What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
A boy scout comes back from his camp.
- What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
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- Why do Jewish men like to watch adult movies backward?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
- Why do Jewish men like to watch adult movies backward?
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- Why were gentiles invented?
Somebody has to pay retail.
- Why were gentiles invented?
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- What’s the best way to get a Jewish girls number?
Roll up her sleeve.
- What’s the best way to get a Jewish girls number?
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- What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real pleasure and fake jewelry.
- What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
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- What did the Jewish peadophile say to the child?
“Wanna buy some candy?”
- What did the Jewish peadophile say to the child?
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- What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?
A Jew.
- What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?
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- Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off.
- Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
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- Why do jews wear yamakas?
Half of a hat, its cheaper.
- Why do jews wear yamakas?
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- What do you call a potato that picks on Jews?
A dicTATER.
- What do you call a potato that picks on Jews?
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- Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?
Dey fast.
- Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?
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- Did you hear about the Jewish troll?
His name was Rumpled Foreskin.
- Did you hear about the Jewish troll?
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- Why didn’t Anne Frank finish her diary?
She needed more concentration.
- Why didn’t Anne Frank finish her diary?
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- What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.
- What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
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- Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free.
- Why do Jews have big noses?
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- Why did Hitler kill himself?
He opened his gas bill.
- Why did Hitler kill himself?
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- How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
He installs a parking meter on the roof.
- How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
Many more jew jokes
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- Jewish women don’t like the 69 position because it’s too close to the gas chamber.
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- Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
- Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
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- What is a jews least favorite hotdog topping?
Sauerkraut.
- What is a jews least favorite hotdog topping?
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- How do you find the Jews in your neighborhood?
Roll a penny down the road.
- How do you find the Jews in your neighborhood?
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- What do you call a Jewish knight?
Sir Cumsiced.
- What do you call a Jewish knight?
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- What’s the difference between Santa and a Jew?
Santa goes down the chimney.
- What’s the difference between Santa and a Jew?
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- What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
Genghis Cohen.
- What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
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- What goes faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
- What goes faster than a speeding bullet?
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- Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?
Yabba Dabba Jew!
- Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?
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- What do you call gingers in Auschwitz?
Concentrated orange Jews.
- What do you call gingers in Auschwitz?
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- Why is money green?
Because Jews pick it before it is ripe!
- Why is money green?
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- Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world.
They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.
- Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world.
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- Define: Genius
A “C” student with a Jewish mother.
- Define: Genius
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- In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
When it graduates from med school.
- In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
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- What do you call an Asian Jew?
Jew Wa Lee (Julie).
- What do you call an Asian Jew?
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- What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?
“Modem anachnu loch”.
- What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?
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- Who was the most well known Jewish cook?
Hitler!
- Who was the most well known Jewish cook?
The last 10 jew jokes
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- Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?
It’s called “Cheeses of Nazareth.
- Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?
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- What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
Fillet minyan.
- What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
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- Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?
Under the vacuum cleaner.
- Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?
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- What does a Jewish pirate say?
Ahoy vey!
- What does a Jewish pirate say?
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- How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.
- How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
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- Why did the Jew soundproof his house?
So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck.
- Why did the Jew soundproof his house?
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- Did you hear about the new jewish tire coming out this summer?
It not only stops you on a dime but it picks it up too.
- Did you hear about the new jewish tire coming out this summer?
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- A Jew walks in to a wall with a boner. What hits first?
His nose.
- A Jew walks in to a wall with a boner. What hits first?
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- How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
- How does Moses make his tea?
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- Did you hear about the Jewish ATM?
When you take out some money, it says to you, what did you do with the last $50 I gave you?
- Did you hear about the Jewish ATM?
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- One day a Jewish grandmother had taken her grandson to the beach for a play when suddenly a huge wave washed over the infant and pulled him out to sea.
The distraught grandmother fell down on her knees, and sobbed, “Please God, don’t let my grandson die, please, he is my only grandson! He is the future of my family, please return him to me safely!”
Instantly another huge wave rolls the infant back onto the beach and the grandmother looks up to the sky and said, “He had a hat!”
- One day a Jewish grandmother had taken her grandson to the beach for a play when suddenly a huge wave washed over the infant and pulled him out to sea.
Yes, some of these jokes are cruel, but also funny. I want to say that I don’t have anything against jews. But some of these jew jokes are just hilarious.
How do you fit 4 nazis and 20 jews in acar
2 nazis in front, 2 in back, and the jews in the ashtray.
what is worse than the holowcaust?
6 million jews!
What do you say to a black jew?
Go to the back of the oven!
What’s the difference between the holohoax and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 75 years!