Corny jokes

2017-06-08 Funny jokes Leave a comment 176,660 Views

You probably hear many jokes in your life. Your parent, friends or even a stranger told you at least one in your lifetime. See there is difference between jokes, just look in the main mane of this page and see how many different categories we have, and yes, we add still new categories now and again. The thing I´m trying to tell you is that there is jokes so corny or lame that they are not funny, but at the same time are. Hard to understand? Ok, they are sooooo corny that they are funny. The build up to a punchline, you expect a funny answer or something like that, but the only thing you get is a disappointment, and that is actually the thing that can make one laugh. Don´t believe me? Well go ahead and read them for yourself.

- Why do cows wear bells?
  Because their horns don’t work.

- What do you call a fake noodle?
  An Im-pasta!

- How do you befriend a squirrel?
  Just act like a nut.

- How do you stop moles digging in your garden?
  Hide the spade.

- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
  Ten-tickles!

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- What do you call a nosy pepper?
  Jalapeno business.

- An Italian chef has died.
  He pasta way.

- What kind of room can’t you enter?
  A mushroom!

- What did the traffic light say to the car?
  Don’t look! I’m about to change.

- What does a nut say when it sneezes?
  Cashew.

- Why was the little strawberry crying?
  His mom was in a jam.

- How do you put an alien baby to sleep?
  You rocket!

- How do snails fight?
  They slug it out.

- Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
  It was craving a well-balanced meal.

- Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties?
  They find it hard to break the ice.

- Where did the cow take his date?
  The MOOvies!

- Why are frogs so happy?
  They eat whatever bugs them.

- How do you impress a female baker?
  Bring her flours.

- What do you call a pony with a cough?
  A little hoarse.

- Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
  For dizzle!

- Why did the bicycle fall over?
  Because it was two tired.

- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
  Where’s pop corn?

- What did one hat say to the other?
  You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

- What did one eye say to the other eye?
  Between you and me, something smells!

- What did the triangle say to the circle?
  You’re pointless.

- What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
  Lookin’ a little pail there.

- Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
  Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

- Why don’t you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree?
  Because they’re really good at it!

- Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
  With four, they’d be chicken sedans.

- What kind of music do mummies listen to?
  Wrap music.

- What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
  Throw a coconut at their face.

- What’s white and can’t climb a tree?
  A fridge!

- Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
  They kept dropping their trunks.

- Why did the cookie go to the doctors?
  Because he felt crummy.

- What did the cop say to his stomach?
  Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!

- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
  The tromBONE!

- What’s the difference between America and a memory stick?
  One’s USA and the other’s USB.

- How does a duck buy lipstick?
  She just puts it on her bill.

- What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up?
  Dino-sore.

- What is the difference between girl spaghetti and man spaghetti?
  Meatballs.

- What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
  Bob.

- What do cows most like to read?
  Cattle-logs.

- What did the axe murderer say to the judge?
  It was an axe-ident.

- What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner?
  A cold shoulder.

- What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
  Puddle.

- What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
  Roberto.

- What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
  Make a seizure salad.

- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
  Because then it’d be a foot.

- What do you call a police officer in bed?
  An undercover cop!

- What do you do when you see a spaceman?
  Park your car, man.

- Why did Mozart kill his chicken?
  Because it kept saying Bach, bach, bach.

- What do you do with a sick boat?
  Take is to the doc already.

- What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
  Oh, snap!

Here is a lot more corny jokes for you.

- How much does a Mustang cost?
  More than you can af-Ford.

- What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
  But you’re way too young to smoke!

- Did you hear about the population of Ireland?
  It’s Dublin.

- What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
  Well this tastes a little funny.

- What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
  Shoe!

- Which plant rules the garden?
  The dande-lion.

- Who do you call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
  A mermaid, of course.

- What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
  Frisbee.

- Why was the poor guy selling yeast?
  To raise some dough.

- Why did the fish get bad grades?
  Because it was below sea level.

- Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
  He had no body to go with him.

- “It’s so cold!”
  “Go stand in the corner where it’s 90 degrees.”

- How much does a pirate pay for corn?
  A buccaneer.

- Why did the can crusher quit his job?
  It was soda pressing.

- What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
  A chilly dog.

- What’s a firefly’s favorite game?
  Hide-and-glow-seek.

- What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
  Nothing. They fast.

- Why is there a wall around the cemetery?
  Because people are dying to get in.

- How did the pirate stop smoking?
  He used the patch.

- Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?
  His mummy, of course.

- What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
  Give me my quarterback.

- Why do French people eat snails?
  Because they don’t like fast food.

- Did you hear about that wedding?
  It was in-tents.

- Why did the chicken cross the playground?
  To get to the other slide.

- Why could the bee not hear what people were saying?
  He had wax in his ears.

- Why was the sand wet?
  Because the sea weed.

- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
  In case he got a hole in one.

- Why shouldn’t you play cards on the savannah?
  Because of all the cheetahs.

- I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
  Do not read it!

- When is a door not a door?
  When it’s ajar.

- What did the red light say to the green light?
  Don’t look, I’m changing.

- What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?
  Mostly hip-pop.

- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
  A carrot.

- Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
  Because he’s always lion.

- How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
  He could feel his presents.

- How did the barber win the race?
  He knew a short cut.

The last 25 corny jokes

- What do baby kangaroos wear when it’s cold out?
  Jumpsuits.

- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
  Frostbite.

- What do ants get when they do all their chores?
  An allow-ants.

- How do you stop a bull from charging?
  Cancel its credit card.

- What do a dog and a phone have in common?
  They both have collar ID.

- What’s the most famous creature in the ocean?
  The starfish.

- What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking?
  A nervous wreck.

- What did the hat say to the scarf?
  You go ahead, I’ll hang around.

- What do clouds wear under their shorts?
  Thunderpants.

- What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
  Close the door, I’m dressing.

- Why are teddy bears never hungry?
  Because they’re always stuffed.

- What’s so bad about Russian dolls?
  They’re all so full of themselves.

- What would bears be without bees?
  Ears.

- What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
  Nothing. They fast.

- Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?
  They just don’t have the guts.

- Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
  Because it got stuck in a crack.

- What did one egg say to the other?
  Eggs-cuse me, please.

- What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
  A slipper.

- How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
  With a cow-culator.

- Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
  Because he was a little shellfish.

- How does a squid go into battle?
  Well armed.

- Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
  The old Volks home.

- Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep?
  Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.

- How many lips does a flower have?
  Tu-lips.

- What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom?
  A sink.

The Basics of Corny Jokes

Employing humor can be risky as it can backfire. Humor is personal, however, so if you are able to, get a notion of the feeling of humor of the person you’re talking to first. Employing humor ought to be part of your behavior. Humor is excellent and it is a cool approach to set up both attraction and rapport. Humor is the most effective once the joke or crack is relevant. Humor in a wholesome relationship is just one of many things that are suggested in relationship counseling.

A joke about poor service is able to help you make your point about good support. You’re not even laughing at his jokes however funny it is for different men and women. A joke about confusion will be able to help you be certain about restructuring the organization. The second thing that you want to avoid is distasteful jokes. Specific jokes are always superior than an all-purpose joke, although an all-purpose joke can arrive in handy. It’s well worth it to tell the particular jokes, but be certain you select the correct sports joke, state joke or pertinent career joke. If you select the wrong specific joke, you are going to wind up with egg on your face.

If you wish to create a laugh at the cost of somebody else, be sure your victim doesn’t mind paying the price tag, otherwise, you may do more damage than good. It is vital to have laughter in a relationship. Laughter is still the very best medicine.

Top Choices of Corny Jokes

To make different people laugh, you want to get relaxed or else your audience isn’t going to feel relaxed enough to laugh. There’s not any way an audience can be relaxed and receptive the entire time if you just inform them one joke. On the other hand, some of the funniest comedians in the world laugh at their own jokes, and crack up in the middle of telling them and even though it has no idea of what they’re about to say, just the histrionics of the entertainer is enough to make them start laughing too. Don’t make your entire conversation a joke, and remember to use different procedures and methods to create women attracted.

As soon as you know them is the moment that you want to watch them in theatre. Doing even the easiest things reveal that you’re a gentleman and not a tool. There’s not any reason to make yourself sweat if you don’t need to.

Corny Jokes Help!

Sometimes, it’s the utmost corny-ness of the joke that may make you laugh. Pranks don’t have to be elaborate or expensive, they simply have to consider the recipient and the circumstance. Actually, a number of the very best pick-up lines don’t include things like humor in any respect. So earn a list of the things you’re grateful for.

The personal benefits of laughter and humor aren’t so much about being funny or the capacity to tell jokes well. There are various benefits to having the ability to laugh and revel in life. Such was the period of everything. Just the easiest act can go a very long way!

Your family members, friends, and even strangers can be a large benefit to you and in becoming the kind of person you are interested in being. Your husband would like you to admire him. What you will in fact be doing is to provide your wife confidence again. Therefore, when you satisfy a woman you’re interested in, don’t be scared to create a move. There’s one particular thing men need away from their wives more than anything else on the planet. You’ll hear plenty of different reasons from various men about the reason why they do it but it all pretty much boils down to a single thing.

Simply take just a little trip down memory lane with the individual you’re talking to. Even if an individual has limited support and is not able to remain active, superior memories can siphon the pain from grief. Every individual enjoys laughing from time to time, some even delight in laughing more often than others.

The remainder of the evening was uneventful. In the beginning, the great days are rare. They start to outnumber the difficult days. Some folks just look miserable all the time. Anyway, there’s something warm and connecting watching somebody who’s obviously having an excellent time and laughing. As you proceed through life, you’ve got hard times. However bad things could possibly be going on in your life, there’ll stay a rainbow after the rain.

Folks get married because they’re in love and they would like to devote the remainder of their lives together. Two lovestruck men and women get married due to their deep love and admiration, but when both are not able to deal with one another’s weaknesses, they will locate their marriage very tricky to keep. Then the hate began to pour in.

Imagine being approached by a stranger and he or she suddenly begins to tell you a joke. Could be fun right? However, the stranger tells you the most corny jokes you ever heard. How would you react? Well in this video, you will see how others react to the sudden joke attack on the street.

This video is created by “LAHWF”

Did you really read all the corny jokes? I actually don´t know how many exactly we have only that is more than 100. I hope you liked them and they made you smile or even laugh. If this is the case, how about sharing these with your family or friends. You could even share this website on Facebook or some other social media. Further down you will see many more categories you can enjoy or just pick them in the main menu. I hope you liked this page and remember to return as I always add more jokes categories and other funny stuff.

Have a great day.