Lesbian jokes

• • Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died?
    They found her face down in Ricki Lake.

• • What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
    “You know, we do taste like chicken!”

• • A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died.
    At her autopsy it was discovered she had died from a crack overdose.

• • Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much potenspills?
    She couldn’t get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!

• • What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
    A block of flaps!

• • Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
    Neither. They both eat out.

• • Why were lesbians invented?
    So that feminists wouldn’t breed!

• • What do you call two lesbians floating down a river.
    Fur Traders.

• • How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
    She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

• • How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
    None, Its all tongue and groove!

• • Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?
    Vagitarians.

• • How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.

• • Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her yum-yum?
    So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.

• • What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
    “I’ll see you next month.”

• • What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian’s apartment?
    Potpourri.

More lesbian jokes

• • Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
    She kept having affairs with men.

• • What do parsley and pubic hair have in common???
    Nothing,you push them both to the side before you start eating!

• • What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
    Tartar sauce!

• • What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
    A new carpet to munch on.

• • The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
    Apparently HD was the wrong answer.

• • What do you call lesbian twins?
    Lick-a-likes.

• • What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
    A lick-her cabinet.

• • Why did the lesbian build a shelf?
    To hold her shoulders.

• • A woman got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie.
    The genie offered her the traditional three wishes.
    Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all.
    The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers, and turned her into a lesbian.

• • Why was the lesbian sick?
    She was lacking vitamin D.

• • What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?
    Fried fish.

• • What do lesbians need to get married?
    A Licker license!

• • What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
    One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

• • What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
    They go home and lick each others wounds!

• • Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
    Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.

• • What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
    A Klondike!

• • Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
    It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.

• • What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
    Militia Etheridge.

• • What do you call an Irish lesbian?
    Gaylick.

• • What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
    What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?

• • What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
    Well hung.

Remember to share these Lesbian jokes

• • Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians?
    Dyquil!

• • Why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
    She wanted to preserve her palm.

• • What card game do lesbians play?
    Poke-her.

• • What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
    A Licker cabinet.

• • What do lesbians call potens pills?
    Batteries.

• • What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
    Hairballs.

• • What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
    A clitosaurus.

• • What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
    Toys for Twats.

• • What do you call two lesbians on their period?
    Finger Painting.

• • Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
    They don’t know how to handle wood.

• • What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
    Single!

• • What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
    A bush hog.

• • What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
    Depends.

• • What kind of humor do lesbians like?
    Tongue in cheek.

• • What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
    A weedeater.

The last 15 lesbian jokes

• • What did one lesbian say to another?
    “Your face or mine?”

• • What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
    Two can chew!

• • Why do lesbians shave there yum-yums?
    So they don’t start a fire grinding.

• • Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
    They always eat out.

• • Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
    Someone has to mow the yard.

• • What is the definition of confusion?
    3 blind lesbians in a fish market.

• • How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
    Even the pool table has no balls.

• • What drives a lesbian up the wall?
    A crack in the ceiling.

• • What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
    You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

• • If lesbians aren’t attracted to men, then why are they attracted to girls who behave like men.

• • Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what’s not ok?
    Wearing crocs!

• • How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
    Both of them.

• • A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, “Why, it’s immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?”
    The woman responds, “I have a woman in twice a week.”

• • If god hates lesbians why did he create them?

• Gay Or Not, if a girl walks past another girl with a fat A$$ she’s going to turn around and look!