Welcome to the category with riddles for adults. I warn you in advance that these riddles is not for minors. Since they may contain words of naughty nature. Obviously I can not stop you to read these riddles, but are you under age for exactly this category I would encourage you to look at other categories we have on this site. Beyond that, I hope you will enjoy these riddles for adults.
Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed.
A bunk bed.
What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A seatbelt.
What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can’t eat it.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It’s not hard.
What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
A lot of people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective, and it’s definitely possible for them to be too long. What are they?
Tweets.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
Name a word that’s four letters long, ends in “u-n-t” and is used to refer to some women?
Aunt.
What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body, except his own.
What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
The lawn.
What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.
Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.
I'm long, hard, and full of seamen. What am I?
A submarine.
Who’s the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut!
What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
The heart.
You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can’t get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I?
Your phone.
Sometimes Big, sometimes small. Every girl has two. Men sees them first, gets attracted and fall in love with them.
The eyes.
You find me in a guy’s pants. I’m about six inches long, I have a head, and some women love to blow me. What am I?
A twenty dollar bill.
What is that which a women gets every month and last for 3-6 days?
Husband’s salary.
All men have one, but it’s longer on some than others. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife once they’re married.
His last name.
I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
A crane.
What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?
Talk.
When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit, and not swallow. What am I?
Your dentist.
What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What’s in a man’s pants that you won’t find in a girl’s dress?
Pockets.
I start with a “v” and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I?
Her voice.
I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?
Your nose.
I start with a “p” and ends with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?
Popcorn.
You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
A tent.
I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I?
Bubblegum.
Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?
Firetruck!
My business is briefs. I’m a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?
A lawyer.
You get a lot of it if you’re powerful and successful, but significantly less when you’re just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself, but it’s a lot better when you do it with another person. What am I talking about?
Email.
I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
An arrow.
You gonna love these riddles for adults
Sometimes a finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
Your wedding band.
How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
Gloves.
What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste.
What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
An education.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What does a woman have two of the a cow has four of?
Legs.
What’s messy and can be really annoying to clean up after sex?
Feelings.
What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?
Erasers.
I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
A bowling ball.
Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn’t a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?
The Titanic.
I’m at least six inches long. I love it wet and foamy when I get to do my job. What am I?
A toothbrush.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What am I?
A last name.
All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
An elevator.
If I miss, I might hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I?
The paperboy.
What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?
A fork.
What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.
A coconut.
Another great riddles for adults, though not that dirty.
This object can be driven, but has no wheels, and can also be sliced and remain whole.
What is it?
A Golf Ball.
What ends in a 'w' but has no end?
A rainbow!
The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false?
Neither, it’s a paradox. If the first is true, then the second must be false, which makes the first false? it doesn’t work.
You are right next to a river and have a 5 gallon container and a 3 gallon container. You need to measure out 4 gallons of water.
How do you do it?
You fill up the 3 gallon container and pour the 3 gallons into the 5 gallon container. You fill the 3 gallon container back up, and pour it into the 5 gallon container. You empty the 5 gallon container and pour the 1 gallon left in the 3 gallon container into the five gallon container. Then you fill the 3 gallon container back up and pour it into the 5 gallon container and you have 4 gallons.
Iron roof and glass walls, burns and burns but never falls.
What is it?
A lantern.
Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. And whoever knows it wants it not.
Counterfeit money.
Two words, my answer is only two words.
To keep me, you must give me.
Your word.
How many bathrooms are in the whole entire world?
2 mens bathroom and a girls bathroom.
A structure with two occupants, sometimes one, rarely three. Break the walls, eat the boarders, then throw away me.
What am I?
A peanut.
When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle-aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever.
What am I?
Wine.
What goes up white and comes down yellow?
An egg.
What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A doughnut.
What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?
Your shadow.
It is an insect, and the first part of its name is the name of another insect. What is it?
Beetle.
You can hold it without using your hands or arms. What is it?
Your breath.
What's black and white and red all over?
An embarrassed zebra.
I stand when I'm sitting, and jump when I'm walking. Who am I?
A kangaroo.
How long is the answer to this question.
How long.
Riddles for adults with dirty mindset
As you might have noticed, this category with riddles for adults is divided into two parts, those with a dirty nature and those without. Many of the dirty riddles have a very specific structure to get you thinking about things other than the actual solution is. Here, you find out quickly how dirty your mindset really is. And do not worry you’re not the only one who thinks that way. I hope you enjoyed these riddles for adults, remember to come back again where I will add more riddles of that kind with with time.
Have a great day.
Other riddles you might be interested in
Funny Jokes and Insults
