Mean insults

• • Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?

• • You should donate blood. All of it!

• • Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.

• • If I wanted a friend like you, I’d buy a dog.

• • You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.

• • I can’t tell if you’re on too many drugs or not enough.

• • It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.

• • Twinkle twinkle little star,
    I want to hit you with my car,
    Throw you off a cliff so high,
    I hope you break your neck and die.

• • Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.

• • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell ‘bitch’ and I wrote down your name.

• • You must have been born on a highway, because that’s where most accidents happen.

• • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

• • Is your behind jealous of the amount of dirt that just came out of your mouth?

• • You’re not my cup of tea, mainly because I don’t like huge pieces of filthy dirt in my tea.

• • We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.

• • Some people are like slinkies; they’re really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Great selection of Mean insults

• • The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s behind and wait.

• • I’m not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I’d probably be the one driving it.

• • If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.

• • I’m not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I’d sit down and pull out the marshmallows.

• • It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

• • Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.

• • You’re so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.

• • I don’t hate you, but I wish your dad used a condom.

• • I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

• • I’m not saying that I hate you, it’s just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.

• • You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

• • I’d slap you, but I don’t want you on my hands.

• • If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.

• • You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk dirt!

• • Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?

• • Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright before they speak.

• • Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

• • I’m the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.

• • Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

• • Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that’s animal abuse.

• • You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity?

• • You’re so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.

• • You’re a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

• • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?

• • I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

• • I’d slap you, but your kind stains.

• • You only annoy me when you’re breathing.

• • I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.

• • I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!

More of Mean insults

• • I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

• • The only way I’d lay naked with you would be in a mass grave.

• • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

• • I would ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.

• • People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.

• • You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

• • My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

• • If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

• • You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

• • I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

• • You’re the best at all you do – and all you do is make people hate you.

• • Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.

• • Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable… like a coma.

• • I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

• • Lets play house. You be the door and I’ll slam you.

• • Are you always an idiot or just when I’m around?

• • When you get run over by a car, it shouldn’t be listed under accidents.

• • You look like a before picture.

• • We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

• • You’re like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.

• • You must have a low opinion of people if you think they’re your equals.

• • You’re like school in the summertime – no class.