Jokes

Chevy jokes

chevy-jokesThis list is all about Chevy jokes. There has always been a competition, a war, a fight, call it what you will; between those who favor Ford and those who would pick a Chevy. This list for the Ford guys. Remember this is only for fun, I’m not trying to offend anyone with these. If you are interested, I also have a category with Ford jokes. Enjoy.

    • What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said,
      “I’ll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy”?
      Sounds like a fair trade.
    • How many GM car salesmen does it take to change your light bulb?
      It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment!
    • What’s the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
      A tampon comes with its own tow rope.

Also funny Chevy truck jokes

    • How do you make a Chevy truck accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15
      seconds?
      Push it off a cliff.
    • What do GMC Truck owners and a bottle of beer have in common?
      They’re both empty from the neck up.
    • How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
      You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
    • Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers?
      To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys.
    • Why did Chevrolet put a cross as their emblem?
      So you can pray to God the car starts.
    • Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
      So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
    • What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
      A miracle?
    • Why Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
      Because it gives Chevy owners something to do while they walk home.
    • What do you call Chevy passengers?
      Shock absorbers.
    • What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy’s owners manual?
      The bus schedule.
    • How do Chevy Volt owners drive?
      One hand on the wheel, the other patting themselves on the back.
    • What’s the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
      A shopping cart is easier to push.
    • How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
      Park it between two Fords.
    • Want to hear a car joke?
      Chevy Sonic.
    • Why don’t Chevy’s sustain much damage in front end collisions?
      The tow truck takes most of the impact.
    • What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
      Customized.
    • Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
      To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
      shop.
    • According to a new poll, 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
      The other 9 percent own a Chevrolet.
    • How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
      Turn the engine off.
    • Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
      So they will save Ford’s gas when the Ford tows them away.

15 Chevy jokes and sayings

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?
      To push his Chevy into the shop.
    • How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
      Park it between two Fords.
    • Ashes to ashes,
      dust to dust.
      If it wasn’t for our Chevy’s,
      our tools would rust.
    • Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
      So the owners have someone to walk home with.
    • What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
      Would you like a tow home?
    • How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
      Put a Ford engine in it.
    • From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
      road. The rest made it home.
    • CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
      Engineering Techniques.
    • Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.
    • Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
      rest.

More funny jokes on Chevy

    • Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say “Speed limit 65,
      Chevys-do the best you can”.
    • That’s not a leak, my Chevy’s just marking its territory.
    • Chevy, built like a rock, and runs like one too.
    • I could never keep a Chevy under me; I was always under the Chevy.
    • How do you double the value of a Chevy?
      Put gas in it.
    • What do you do when people ask if you have a Ford or a Chevy?
      I just Dodge the question.
    • Do you know what’s the difference between OJ Simpson and Caddyshack?
      One had a Bronco pursuit and the other had Chevy Chase.

YouTube video with jokes about Chevy

Here is a funny video with some Chevy jokes.

This videoe was uploaded by “Mikal Shurtz”

Hey guys, if you liked these Chevy jokes, please leave a comment. If you know any good jokes about GM or Chevy you think deserves to be on this list, please submit them. I would like to grow this list and share with so many people as possible. You can submit a jokes either in the comment box or just by going to the submit portion of this website by clicking the submit button in the main menu.

Have a great day.

Funny Chevy Insults

    • Chevy, Chevy “You’re the G.O.A.T.”, Drive 10 miles, then get a new vehicle quote.
    • Chevy, Chevy “You’re the G.O.A.T.” You’re just as fast as the slowest boat.
    • Chevy runs deep, if it runs at all.
    • What is a Chevy’s natural habitat? Sitting on a flatbed
    • C.H.E.V.Y. – creeping, halting, erratic, vexing, yawning
    • My Dad insisted on taking the Honda instead of the Chevy to go vote. He said it was our “civic” duty.
    • What do you call an old snail? Faster than a Chevy
    • What do the actor Chevy Chase and a Chevy car have in common? Bad jokes
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re the best! Drive a mile, call an Uber for the rest.
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re the best, but I’ll try really hard not to put you to the test.
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re number one! Most of the time you even run.
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re number one! When you’re not broken down, we’ll have lots of fun!
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re a champ, even after you stalled on the entrance ramp.
    • What does CHEVY stand for? Cheap, homely, erratic, vile, yucky!
    • The only thing that always runs on a Chevy is the owner’s mouth.
    • I had some jokes about my Chevy Equinox’s special features, but, unfortunately, none of them worked.
    • Don MacLean drove a Chevy to the levy but the levy was gone. Not surprising, it took a year to get there!
    • I couldn’t resist the bevy of colorful gleaming Chevy’s at the dealership. I was hoping I could drive one off the lot and make it my own. Unfortunately, it stalled before we got home.
    • Chevy is like a rock, but not because of dependability. It’s because it sits there like a lump after it breaks down.
    • Never send a Chevy to do a Ford’s job.
    • Chevys are like rock-n-roll, sometimes they rock and sometimes they just roll with the punches.
    • Chevy’s not really like a rock. They’re more like someone put rocks in the engine.
    • When a guy received an electric Chevy as a gift, he found it “revolting” and re-gifted it.
    • I drove cross country in my economy-conscious Chevy, but I flew back on an economy class plane.
    • When Chevy tried to sell the Nova in South America, the name was perfect because “No va” means “no go” in Spanish.
    • I heard Chevy’s new promotion is a free Chevy back brace with any new vehicle purchase.
    • What’s at the end of the Chevy owner’s manual? A list of local rental car companies
    • Since I got my Chevy, I haven’t had any speeding tickets. It’s way too hard to get up to the speed limit.
    • Since I spend so much time at the auto shop having my Chevy fixed, the mechanics threw me a party for my 30th birthday.
    • Chevy dealers will be offering dog adoption services to customers buying new cars. They will be trained as emotional-support animals to aid Chevy owners with the emotional highs and lows of owning their new Chevys.
    • Since Chevys have trouble reaching the speed limit, drivers can rest assured that they’re at low risk of a serious high-speed crash.

Awesome Chevrolet Jokes

    • What’s a perfect car for Halloween? A Chevy Maliboo
    • What does Maryland have in common with the movie Caddy Shack? They both have a Chevy Chase.
    • What do you call a marine veteran in a Chevy sports car? A Corps vet in a Corvette
    • What do you call a race between a Camaro and a Corvette? Chevy Chase
    • Keep calm and “Camaro” on!
    • Keep calm and “Chevy” on!
    • I have OCD, “Obsessive Chevy Disorder”.
    • The dog was happy when his human bought a Chevy because
      they started to take a lot of long walks together.
    • What kind of cars do cooks drive? “Chef-rolets”
    • The Amish children were very excited! “We just passed another Chevy,” they shouted.
    • My friend would only drive an economy-sized Chevy. She was very Cavalier about what she wanted.
    • President Lincoln was shot in the Ford Theatre. It never would have happened in the Chevy Theatre.
    • Hey I just sped past a Camaro SS with my old minivan!
    • What do you call Chevy passengers? Human guinea pigs
    • How do you make a Chevy go faster? You tell the tow truck driver to speed up.
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re so great. With any luck, we’ll only be an hour late.
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re so great. You broke down again and ruined my hot date!
    • Chevy, Chevy, you’re so great. Off to the auto shop again and another long wait!
    • What do you say when you see a Chevy on the side of the road? Rust in peace
    • Why did the cat sleep under the Chevy? The leaking oil made her fur extra shiny.
    • Want to hear something very ironic? It’s called a Chevy Sonic.
    • What would the U.S. be if everyone drove a pink Chevy? A pink “car”nation
    • The relationship between a Chevy and its owner is like a marriage vow, “for better, for worse”.

 

Chevy Owner Jokes

    • A new poll showed more people were taking road trips than ever. 99% of them did not own Chevy cars.
    • Why do Chevy owners raise their trucks? It makes it easier to work on the engine.
    • It’s fun to drive my Chevy. I like trying to beat out the Amish buggies.
    • If you’re a Chevy owner, make sure you have a backup plan.
    • My girlfriend accused me of being a Casanova. She doesn’t like that I live in my old Chevy Nova.
    • A Ford owner was helping his friend to tow his old Chevy to the junkyard. “Just taking out the trash,” the Ford guy said.
    • The Ford owner said, “Did you ever notice that the mouths of Chevy owners run more than their cars do?”
    • A Chevy owner volunteered his car for veterans to ride in the Memorial Day Parade. Unfortunately, even the slow pace of the parade was too much for the car to take.

 

Chevy Jokes for Ford Guys

    • When a Ford owner spots a Chevy on the shoulder, he says, “I hate when people throw trash on the side of the highway.
    • What’s the difference between Ford and Chevy owners’ tracks in the snow? The Ford tracks are tire tracks, but the Chevy owner’s tracks are footprints.
    • A Ford owner asked the Chevy owner how he’s doing. “Nothing like sitting here waiting for the tow truck.”
    • Why do you own a Chevy? Is it because you can’t Ford a better car?
    • A Chevy can go far as long as a Ford is towing it.
    • When the Chevy runs deep, the Ford pulls it out.
    • The Ford owner drove past the Chevy dealer and saw that even the Chevy sign broke down and was being towed in for repairs.
    • When the Ford owner asked the Chevy owner how many recalls he’s had on his car, he answered, “I can’t even recall all the recalls!
    • You need a Ford guy to figure out how to make a Chevy go fast.
    • Behind every good Ford is a Chevy that’s broken down.
    • There should be a movie featuring Chevy’s with the title, “Total Recall.”
    • What’s the difference between a lifted Ford and a lifted Chevy? The Chevy’s on a flatbed.
    • Chevy blows and Ford tows.
    • What’s the difference between a 1970’s Chevelle? A heavy Chevy
    • I’d rather push my Ford than drive a Chevy.
    • Two old farmers were talking about the good old days. One said he missed driving his old Chevy truck all over the ranch and still being on his own property. The other farmer said, “Heck, my old Ford got me around the farm and all the way to town and back besides.”
    • Chevy! Keeping junkyards busy since 1911!
    • The toddler was pushing his miniature Chevy while his dad and uncle watched. The dad said, “Got to teach him young how to push one!”
    • The Dad said to his little girl, “When you get older, my Camaro will be all yours!” The little girl started to cry, and said, “Why do you hate me, Daddy?”
    • The Ford owner said, “I don’t always roll with Chevy’s, but when I do, they just better not bust my tow strap!”
    • What do you call a Chevy on a flatbed tow truck? A Chevy in its natural habitat.
    • When the Chevy burst into flames, the owner said, “It just runs a little hot.”
    • The Alabama state government released statistics on vehicles getting stuck in the mud. Chevy was #1 by far.
    • How do you improve a Chevy? Trade it in for a Ford.
    • What’s the difference between a Mustang and a Camaro? You push the button to start the Mustang, but you push the car to start the Camaro.
    • A Chevy guy asked the Ford owner for directions to the junkyard. He was surprised when he ended up at the Chevy dealership.

Chevy Silverado Jokes

    • Did you hear Silverado was ranked #1? That is, #1 on the list of the LEAST reliable trucks.
    • Did you know that Chevy Truck Month lasts longer than the actual truck?
    • What happens if you see a Silverado at the top of a hill? You call your shrink because you’re delusional.
    • What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill? New material for Guinness World Records.
    • What’s the difference between a Ford F-150 and a Silverado? Spring Break vs. spring broke
    • When the Silverado breaks down, it catches fire so you can keep warm while you wait for the tow truck.
    • Why did Chevy name its truck Silverado? Because it’s not good enough for a gold medal.
    • I dated a girl who reminded me of a Silverado during Chevy Truck Month. She was available for a limited time only, then had 0% interest for a year.
    • The Silverado owner was looking on the bright side after his new truck broke down. He said, “It sure tows nice.”
    • Ford owners insist their F-150’s are superior to Silverados, but one thing they can agree on is they both hate Honda Ridgelines.
    • The F-150 owner saw a Silverado on fire. He said to his friend, “Look, Jerry, they’re burning trash on the side of the highway again.”
    • After buying a new F-150, the Ford guy said, “I could’ve bought a Silverado, but I like my trucks to run.
    • Hey did you hear that Chevy is giving away a free tent with every Silverado purchase? So now you can have a place to stay when it breaks down.
    • The F-150 owner says to the Silverado owner, “Hey, did you see the new Chevy promo?” “You get a free hitch seat when you buy a new Silverado so when you’re tired of pushing it, you can take a rest.”
    • The Ford owner saw a Silverado pulling a little kid’s wagon. He yelled, “Hey buddy, don’t overdo it!”
    • “Hey, did you hear that Chevy is offering a free AAA membership with every Silverado purchase?”
    • The Chevy dealer was going to have a touch-a-truck event for pre-kindergarten kids, but they cancelled it. They were afraid the kids might hurt the Silverado.

Chevy Jokes about Dodge

    • Whether to Dodge or Ram, that is the question.
    • I took a detour to avoid an angry Dodge driver. Maybe I might have “dodged a bullet”.
    • D O D G E – Dang Old Dirty Gas Eater
    • D O D G E – Dripping Oil & Dropping Grease Everywhere
    • D O D G E – Dyin’ Ol’ Dog Goin’ East
    • D O D G E – Dreary Obsolete Defunct Gloomy Embarrassment
    • D O D G E – Dumb, Old, Dirty, Grease Everywhere
    • D O D G E – Doddering Old Dude’s Gas Eater
    • Dodge is going to call its electric car a Dodge Chargeable.
    • What’s the best car for a demolition derby? A Dodge
    • What did the Chevy dealer say to the Dodge owner? Get out of Dodge quick!
    • A Dodge Ram was driving behind a Silverado on an icy country road when it swerved and hit a tree. The Silverado owner said, “Silly Dodge, don’t you know you can’t follow a Chevy?”
    • If you can’t Dodge it, Ram it.

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